It was a sunny summerday
is Boise, Idaho when everyone's favorite catholic superstar, Jesus,was seen
playing the classic nintendo hit Super Mario Bros. up in the clouds above a
local corner store originally titled "Old School". Soon word got around and
everyone gathered to cheer Jesus on.
simply amazing!" resident Jarret Kralla said.
Jesus demonstrated his incredible gaming skills, smacking koopa troopas,
stomping goombas and grabbing 1-ups while using several glitches in the game
such as jumping off the walls, finding every warp zone, jumping backwards,
shooting fireballs as as regular mario, and even managing to jump over the flag
pole in level 3 - 3.
"He's so good! I don't think he died ONCE!"
said resident Jarret Kralla once again.
We later found out Jesus had died three times so during the
maddening, drunk cheers, when Kralla was knocked over we made sure to kick him
in the ribs and knock him unconscious for good measure. Never fuck with
Minutes passed and soon Jesus ran
forward through the final level. The crowd began to shout, "Go Jesus go!"
while pattings their heads and rubbing their tummies. As Jesus went down the
final pipe, swimming and avoiding the spinning fire lines, everyone came together, holding hands in a circle and began to
sing Rod Stewart's hit song, "Do ya think I'm sexy". What this had to do
with Jesus or Nintendo we'll never know but that's Idaho for
After Jesus had beaten the game he breathed a
sigh of relief and vanished from the public's sight, leaving the citizens of
Boise back to their normal, stereotypically incest lives.