sitting down and playing a nes game, is highly entertaining, but so is dropping a plugged-in nintendo system into an occupied bathtub. here, we'll explain the many ways to kill a man with a nintendo...

[METHOD A] first, lets start out with the sabotage technique. its quite simple really. fool around with the nintendo's wiring, and when your friend hits power, they're going to get a pleasant little shock, or what modern day scientists call, an explosion. but be sure to catch the horrid expression of fear on their face, because it only lasts a second before it's blown to timbuktu! lets move on.

[METHOD B] now theres the simple reconfiguration technique. there are a couple of different things you can do with this. one thing, is to take a paper shredder and insert it into the nintendo system. when someone tries to place the cartridge game into the nintendo, it will begin to pull it in and cut it into shreds. your dumber friends will try to pull the cartridge free, and will be swallowed whole by the now deadly nintendo system. but for your smarter friends, they might not actually try to save their cartridge. which is why you might have to "feed" your friends to the nintendo system. (note: great for parties!)

B2 another reconfiguration technique is to hook up a walkie talkie into the nintendo. your dumber friends will think the nintendo is talking to them. if theyre die hard nintendo fans, theyll do whatever you tell them to. of course there is only one thing you want them to do and that is kill themselves.

B2 variant: your smarter friends (perhaps i am hoping for too much when i say that) may be more suspicious about the walkie talkie trick. suredly they will investigate the nintendo system for hoaxes before they begin obeying its every command. this is okay. it gives you ample time to club them and then feed them to the shredder.