The perversion all began with this.  The rorikon.
Lolicon and the Perversion of Japan
(11/16/2001)

Every country around the world makes fun of America for being nothing more than a nation filled with fat and lazy assholes who are beyond uptight about sex and who shoot our guns in the air every time we step outside of our mansions to eat fatty foods in our fat-making and expensive dining establishments, or to go to the firing range to shoot at human prey.

First of all, that would be stupid. Wasting that much ammo when there are still millions of Commies and terrorists on this planet is a crime. But I digress. What these other countries fail to see is that other than being fat and lazy and rich, our peoples are pretty normal. If they would all stop pointing at us and guffawing their annoying foreign heads off for a minute they might just realize that America is like the world's Norm, from Cheers. Yeah, we sit around on our fat ass all day while Sam goes out and gets some tail, Fraiser goes off and starts a popular show of his own and Cliff delivers the mail like an annoying retard (Cliff representing France of course). But we're lovable and witty. Plus we like alcohol, but that's a whole other article.

The point I'm making here is that we're pretty normal. However, there is a nation of perverts out there that's hiding in plain sight. Just like Zed and that gimp in Pulp Fiction. The people from this land pretend to be nothing but hard working, starched collared businessmen whose only goal is world domination and pachinko.... but they conceal a deep dark secret. Yes, I speak of Japan, and yes, I refer to their national pastimes of chasing schoolgirl ass, bondage, tentacle sex, and taking craps on things while others take pictures. All of which goes back to their country wide and deep seated (or should I say "deep throated") lolicon.

"Konami, you get the spank now!  NO ARGUE!  Just do it!!"
All models used on this page are 18 or older. They just look young to gaijin eyes. I swear! The three above are really in their 50s!

To the left we can see a typical scene that plays out every day in Japanese school yards across the country. Three tantalizing high school girls prancing around enjoying their youth and life in general. Meanwhile, what you can't see is the thousands of Japanese business men and other perverts pressing their faces through the bars of the fence that separates these delicate, pre-womanly flowers from the dregs of Japanese society (i.e. the rest of the population).

Though ten seconds after the dismissal bell rings and these luscious ladies begin exiting the school they are besieged with requests from horny salary men who don't get any "skin sushi" at home. These requests (according to my Japanese friend, Sakura) range from riches, fame and fortune to star in "shit films," to riches, fame and fortune to giving some head in a cheap hotel around the corner (fyi, every corner in every town and prefecture of Japan has a shady "love hotel" for just such an occasion).

Unfortunately, the percentage of youthful sluts that take these blue-balled fuckers up on their invitations is a staggering 98.543%! The other 1.457% do it for free.


Not that there's anything wrong with a little porn (or a LOT of it in "My Carpet's" case), far from it. I've stated it before and I'll say it again, everybody needs at least 5 images of attractive and naked women a day. That includes women, but not children. I'm no freak.

But Japan goes far beyond that. It would appear that everybody from Okinawa to Hokkaido wants to jump the bones of a waif-like 14 year old. A friend of mine from college, a native from Japan, got all defensive and pissed off when I first brought my theory to him. This surprised me as he was the one who told me about all of the shops in Tokyo that sell "used schoolgirl underwear" and the high schoolers who whore themselves out to middle aged business men so that they can afford their cute, pink cell phones that they use to tell their friends about how Akemi's dad fucked them up the ass for 4,000 Yen an hour before.

To prove my point to my friend (I'll call him "Ataru" from now on), all I had to do was have him take a look around his own bedroom. There were at least 13 things out in the open that had images of teens in sexy clothes or poses. He had posters of 16 year old idol singers on his walls; he had anime DVDs depicting "monster sex" with girls in fukus sitting on his TV (I made a mental note to preview those for quality and sanity control later); he had a screen saver on his computer of some young Japanese girl prancing around in her underwear (truth be told, Ataru got that from me, but that's not the point); etc, etc.

Must be squeaky clean like Mr. Sparkle!!Sakura also told me about hygiene in Japanese high schools too. Apparently everyday all of the female students (well, only the attractive ones) have to line up at the Nurse's Office for a daily physical. Ass pertness is measured along with "bouncy chest". If a girl's chest doesn't bounce enough in proportion to her height and petite mass then she is forced to eat nothing but carrots for a month. Then the school physicians take pictures of the female students shitting the carrot fecal matter onto eager young boys to later post on the internet.

In order to stay "pure" and clean, the school nurse must go through the daily exam too. She is also to help lather up the girls and get the giant tentacle monster (each school has at least 3 in secret closets or basements spread throughout the grounds) ready for his lunch. It seems that these tentacle monsters need 5 pints of "super love cream juice" every two days to remain healthy. And any school with malnourished tentacle monsters gets 8 demerits from the Japanese Sex Control Specialist Group.

Although she didn't want to talk about it too much, Sakura also brought up the fact that the school nurse was also responsible for keeping the resident school stalker under control. He needs no less than 5 psycho shags a day. If the nurse forgets or is held up by a tentacle monster then the resident school stalker goes nuts and kidnaps up to 12 girls of various stereotypes (including a pretty yet mousy one, a pretty glasses-wearing smart one, a pretty athletic jock one, a pretty obnoxious but misunderstood one, and a pretty wise beyond her years one who likes melted candle wax). Then he takes pictures of the girls tied up and pleasuring themselves which he posts on the internet later that day. Every picture costs that school a demerit too. School nurse must be a tough job in Japan.

That's when he bowed his head in shame and told me everything. Every sordid little detail of life in Japan and how it all revolves around the quest for high school girl ass.

He told me about the magazines and how anything goes as long as no pubic hair is shown. That's right, newsstand magazines (that kids can even buy) can have images of chicks hanging from the ceiling upside down by rubber cords, covered in human crap while some dork with a tiny Asian dong pisses on her from a ladder.... as long as she's shaved. But Playboy is "evil" and disturbing because it shows female muff-fluff.

Ataru then showed me some of his personal collection of "lolicon magazines" (fyi, lolicon is the Japanese way of saying "lolita complex"). Some were pretty damn funny, like the ones with schoolgirls flashing their tits and asses in the middle of crowded street corners while nobody around them bats an eye. But most were really fucked up. There was one that had a girl partially dressed in a schoolgirl outfit with orange goo in her hair and a dog licking her ta-tas, puking all over some poor guy's extended schlong while a masked accomplice standing behind her shoved a two foot glowing fluorescent light bulb up her toucus. The opposite page had the same girl getting fucked by another woman with a big green strap-on between her legs and a kitten in her arms while they both stood in a hot tub filled with what looked like human excrement. Both were smiling too.

If I was eleven or twelve I would have found it funnier than Night Court, but being a semi-adult I was surprisingly unsettled. I couldn't explain it. I mean, I've seen some porn in my day that would make Chi-Chi blush, but this Japanese stuff made me think. Then I understood what my brain had already discovered: Japan is an untapped resource of all things smut that America needed to experience!

The smuttiness continues... go to Page 2>>

Or go to the EXAMINER Homepage