Yes, that annoying "neon" green background color is intentional.  It's to get you in the Vegas-mood.
Searchin' Sin-City for the Seven Deadlies

Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? Well, besides the Shadow I'm pretty sure that I do. I've seen every kind of evil available to the populous in this day and age (and thanks to some time traveling pals I've seen some in the future that have yet to be invented).

How does mankind become evil, you ask? Are people born evil? Is their soul condemned to eternal pain and suffering and licking of puss filled boils due to a misfiled printout in Heaven? Yes, but also because of SIN. Yeah, yeah, I've heard it all before. "Sin is the cause of all suffering and hatred and blah blah blah..." But you know what? Sin is also the cause of humanity's best achievements and favorite pastimes.

Let's go through the list of the seven deadlies, shall we? There's lust; pride; envy; gluttony; wrath; greed; and sloth. Pride built the pyramids, the city of Rome and the Armani empire. Lust makes prostitution and the porno industry the oldest and most successful businesses in the world. Envy made boob jobs possible. Gluttony made 60% of Americans obese and jiggly. Wrath gave us the atomic bomb. Greed created Bill Gates and many a U.S. president. And sloth made us uncaring and damn proud of it... which relates back to pride.

Now, not satisfied with mere hear-say that there was a Mecca of Sin (a, shall we say, "Sin-City" of sorts) in the wild wild West of the US frontier, the Wolfman and I journeyed far and distant to find out once and for all if Las Vegas, Nevada was indeed the world's capital of depravity. Many shocking stuff was discovered, and an evil time was had by all. This is our immoral tale.

Poopy picture taking
Unedited, uncropped, and untampered with. Just pure, unadulterated crappy photography.

Before I get started though, let me explain to you the picture above. This is an excellent example of why the Wolfman should never be allowed near a camera ever again under penalty of crocodile bite to the marble sack. It turns out that he doesn't truly give a crap about art forms such as photography and webpage design. Every carefully crafted and lined up shot (that I even set up for him to take) with me in it came out looking like Helen Keller snapped it for a picture taking class taught by Stevie Wonder. The image of me above was supposed to showcase my head (first and foremost), the candy I was eating and the background of the big chocolate poster and the three women in the plastic hairnets.

Now, let's count the things that are wrong with it. My head is definitely not in the shot. The candy really can't be seen (it kind of appears that I'm picking my nose). The poster is totally cropped off so it looks like a fiery asteroid, and only one and maybe 1/2 women are shown scowling at us from behind the counter. Now before you go defending the hairy bastard in any way, let me tell you that I took a good minute to set up the shot for him. I found the perfect spot for both he and I to stand and I even showed him where to aim the lens... I swear to God that all he did was point the camera at crotch level and click in embarrassment because he was taking a picture of a dude in flannel pretending to eat a candy in the Ethel M's Chocolate Factory. Little did he know that I would ask him to take even greater embarrassments in posing and shooting over the course of our insidious stay. And little did I know that he would fuck up more than half of my well thought out photo-ops for the sake of his laziness.

I guess this picture fiasco brought out my wrath and the Wolfman's sloth. That's a pretty good sinny start right there.

New York City?!?!  Damn it, Cookie!!The Wolfman and I had to take a stop-over in New York before we made it to our final destination: the Land of the Wicked. New York kind of got us in the mood for what was ahead though. There are tons of degenerates just walking around in broad daylight. And most are even sicker than those we found in Vegas itself! Take this photo to the left as a prime example. The Wolfman just wanted a shot to show his 'rents that New York truly had cleaned up its act and became a "nice" town since 9/11 (What this really meant was that all the pervs and sickos now felt free to just walk around town asking all the locals and tourists to either politely look at their crotch and/or politely grab their crotch... Well, that's what the Wolfman thought it meant... and what he did). So, after the Wolfman posed for the picture, this freak and his daughter came slithering over and proceeded to try and talk us into some really kinky shit. I was almost ready to take them up on their offer, but the weaselly fellow in the glasses had to then make up some lies about being a big time director. He said he wanted to put us in his next movie, but the Rossman don't swing that way. He was probably some broke porn producer looking for some raw talent in the slums of the city that never sleeps. I suppose that's sort of sinful. Greed for cash and lust for my bod are indeed sins (according to the movie Seven).

The first sin that we looked for once we actually got to Las Vegas was pretty damn easy to spot in the land of the one-armed-bandits. I speak of GREED. The whole city is based off of this sin and it makes its living off of stupid tourists who believe it is their right to win $40million because they put a quarter in a slot machine. By that logic I should have won 50 CDs the last time I put money in a parking meter, and at least twenty pairs of boobies the last time I paid my electric bill. I watched young and old morons alike sit at the blackjack tables and the slots for hours at a time just pissing their hard earned money away. Barely any won even a one dollar chip in return for their time. FUCKING RETARDS! They probably blew several thousand dollars in a single afternoon with nothing to show for it except the eternal memories of looking like dumbass zombies determined to use their cash like toilet paper. How do these dipshits think these billion dollar hotels and casinos get built? By taking their fucking money!!!

But GREED blinds those who want more than they obviously deserve. Instead of actually earning money and things, most people just want to take what others have already acquired. Is that fair? Not in most cases. But if the person who worked hard for material possessions and who's money these Vegas dingleberries wished to take is a total asshole (like Bill Gates or Michael Eisner) then I think that the Supreme Being would understand. I'm sure that God is getting ready to return to Earth just so he could physically kick Gates' pasty white ass himself.

Sometimes I curse my greed.  But then I embrace my LUST!  And I'm happy again.Yes, GREED even blinded me while I was in Vegas. I guess I'm not as strong as I thought I was.

After beating the living tar out of a rich midget and a flamboyant driving bear, the Wolfman was faced with a dilemma: How would he physically be able to drive away and keep both fancy sport cars. I jumped in at that moment and demanded that one of them was mine since I was the one that pointed the wussy drivers out to my hairy friend and suggested that if he conquered them in Street Fighting Kombat their automobiles' life forces would be his to feast on. The Wolfman then let me choose first, but I got so excited just by looking at them and rubbing against them that I pissed my pants, and then there was that whole scene with the cops and the showgirls with the stun-guns and it just got way out of hand... Especially when the puppy with the blowtorch showed up. Long story short, if I had simply helped the Wolfman drive his spoils of war away at the very beginning then we would have had a trunk full of monkeys and porn and a Ferrari. Instead both of the cars were blown up and 30 hookers died.

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