Today was originally going to be a "Stuff We Want To Talk About" by Karen, but due to Ain't It Cool News publishing the results of the Massawyrm avatar contest last night, I decided to write today's entry in order to welcome the new readers who just recently stumbled across this site because of my Massa-submissions.

Welcome.

If you like what you see, please stay and read through some past comics and "SWWTTAs." If you think that this page sucks, well I raped your mother last night with my fist, with tons of thumbtacks and broken glass glued to it. And the whore liked it.

For you first timers, feel free to read about the convoluted History of this site (which should answer any questions you had as to what this place is all about), and then check out some of my more favoriter strips like I'm Not Your Daddy, Speed (p0rn0)Grapher, Shocking!, This Is The End, My Friend, The End of the Hitler Trilogy, Introducing The MegaPlayboy, and Ninja Of The Night. FYI, I do my best to get new stuff up Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.

Now, on to today's strip: This is the beginning of a lot of things. Quite a few characters are about to be introduced and probably almost immediately killed off. To me that's comedy. Some long plotlines are about to be launched from this strip as well. Don't worry though, I absolutely refuse to ever get as convoluted and emo as MegaTokyo. Personally, I like to punch any life-whiners I see right in the ear. No, if I ever try to make my comic "serious" or "dramatic" in the least you have full permission to take out a full page ad in Playboy (the only magazine I read/skim through) calling me "gay." If that ever happens I will hold a press conference wherein I concede that I am nothing but a rainbow-flag-waving, meat-socket, bed-buddy of George Takei (not that there's anything WRONG with that). Like I said in my History page, Bloom County/Farside/Calvin & Hobbes is what I'm striving for here... just with more profanity, blood and other bodily fluids.

One last thing I wanted to talk about today. South Park's Trey Parker and Matt Stone recently said that the marines guarding Saddam Hussein during his trial in Iraq have told them that they made him watch the South Park movie, Bigger, Longer & Uncut, repeatedly while in confinement. Oh man, I seriously hope this is true, and that they got a translator to subtitle the whole thing so that Saddam can read all the lines of himself begging Satan for some hot butt sex. If this is true I hope that we invade North Korea next just so that we can capture Kim Jong-Il and make him watch Team America - World Police over and over.

- the Rossman