The
Legend of Black Heaven:
Hard Rock Saves Space
(Reviewed on 05/10/2001)
The ROSSMAN and Jedi Master
The Legend of Black Heaven is one of the coolest shows I've ever fucking seen. It's that simple. How do you make such a perfect show, you ask? Well, you start off with an interstellar war being fought with big ass space ships and an "ultimate weapon" that uses some rock music (mostly John Sykes' Cautionary Warning) as power to laser the enemy. Then you take a rugged and worn out mid-thirties office worker (Oji) who used to be part of a kick ass metal band in his younger days but who's now stuck in the rut of boring employment and a dull wife. Mix in some hot alien women who have to get the ex-rocker to take up the guitar again in order to save their fleet and Earth (which is right behind the alien defenders' final line of defense). That is the recipe for greatness! Sounds dumb, you say? Well, first of all YOU SUCK! And second of all you've obviously never seen it or you'd know that you firmly have your head up your ass. The final whole of this anime goes so far beyond the sum of its parts that it made me play the air guitar whenever Oji (and eventually the rest of his band) started jamming.... in space. And you have to remember that they never ever play any of that crappy Japanese pop music that fills up the soundtracks of so much sub-par anime today. They use good old English/American rock!
Throughout the course of the 13 episode series there's lots of sneaking around from wives, bosses and kids for the whole band, and many zany and screwy Three's Company-style misunderstandings, but it still rocks. And as opposed to so many movies and shows I've seen recently Black Heaven is paced perfectly. Each situation and circumstance leads to the next and builds to a nice pitch until the final half hour finalé, which is basically the last stand for mankind and the big push for the weird looking bad guys (well, their ships are weird, but we never do get to see what they really look like.... unless they really are the ships themselves... but now I'm just rambling.... as I tend to do when confused... which happens a lot unfortunately). It was such a fucking shweet ending too. Yeah, you might be able to see it coming from 2.5 miles away, but it's still cool. And the keyboardist with six arms was one of the best villains I've ever seen (and the way he really died in the States was the funniest goddamn thing I've ever seen ["Say 'hi' to the gang in Jersey, bitch!"]).
BOB From the Future
Hard Rock Saves Space is one of the "Holy Shows" in my time. We worship Oji and especially Miss Layla (the green eyed, green lipped blonde bombshell from space) for their courage and determination in the face of adversity and overwhelming odds. And their songs kicked ass too. Their music inspired our world just like Bill and Ted made their future most excellent. We party on to Saint John James Sykes' guitar solos every Tuesday night from 6-8PM (unless it's a full moon, then we must rave until at least 10:30)! Hail Oji!! Hail St. John James Sykes!! And hail Black Heaven!!!
KIFF and JAIME
Jaime:
I didn't like all the loud music all that much, but that office
working guy who played the guitar was cute... well, for a cartoon.
I just wish that he'd shave that stubble every once in a while.
If I were his wife though, I'd 'uv castrated him a long time
ago to make sure he wasn't playing "doctor" with that
alien girl behind my back!
Kiff:
Uhhhhh, what did Jaime say?.... Yeah, I liked it too. It was
okay.
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