Jin-Roh (The Wolf Brigade)

The ROSSMAN Brigade...
with his ever-present Guinness

Fuck yeah! This is what I'm talking about. A movie with characters that have no scruples. This entire movie is just one giant double (turned triple) cross. With lots of people getting shot up and blown to hell in a handbasket along for the ride.

I think the plot is supposed to be an updated version of the Little Red Riding Hood story, but if so, then the writers took great liberties (I don't know the whole fairy tale, but I'm pretty sure that there weren't political protesters, bombs and enough ammo to take down a charging elephant on speed). It all starts out in an alternate 1962 Japan. The country is still in great turmoil after WWII and now lots of angry morons (who want to save the world by blowing it up, cop by cop... kinda like if American liberals merged with the IRA) are taking to the streets to object to their lack of rights and the laws that don't allow them to carry napalm and cluster grenades around with them where ever they go.

Those laws are apparently there for a reason, cause most of the people in the crowd like to throw them at the police. This is why the "Special Unit" was set up. The special unit handles the tough shit that the regular cops can't deal with. They're kinda like a small army of Terminators and Robocops. Their outfits even have glowy-red eyes to make them even cooler. So during one blast of civilian uprisings these special unit guys are called in to track down some of the leaders of the protesters/killers when they try to escape into the sewers. One of the super-cops, Fuse, runs into one of the protesters, a teenage girl (who you just want to punch for being such an ass), and she proceeds to blow herself the fuck up in an attempt to take him out too.

That's just the first 10 minutes. Soon we learn the workings behind the political curtains of Japan at the time, and we are told that the special unit is not all that well liked inside the government either. There is also talk about the Jin-Roh (or "Wolf Brigade") that works inside the special unit as its own secret platoon that does even more dirty work than the people who sign their paychecks.

Then the plot gets deep. And confusing. I'll be honest with you, I had not a friggin' idea what the hell was going on for a good 40 minutes in the middle of this movie. Near the end though everything becomes clear as crystal meth. Everything is revealed in such a cool way that I actually cheered out loud a few times I was so happy. Plus the cool special unit armor from hell makes one last appearance before the credits role.

In the end I find that I must give Jin-Roh two Rossman thumbs up. It was very satisfying and it actually made me think. The animation was sweeter than a cup of sugar in Angry Amy's gas tank and the setting was different than anything I've seen in a long time. The only part that weirded me out a bit was the constant telling of the Red Riding Hood story. I guess it was kind of important to the plot, but not really until the end. But what ya gunna do?

The WOLFMAN

Hells bells yeah! Sign of the BEAST!!! This Jin-Roh was very appeasing. It comforted me to see that killing in the name of honor and beliefs is still a good thing in this day and age. Why, just last week I, the Wolfman, had to snap the neck of that little git at the mall because he made me spill some of my Orange Julius on my girlfriend's skirt. Retribution was necessary. I twisted his neck around twice before it popped off. I gave it to Candice as a gift from my heart, but she only kept the eyeballs.

After I watched this movie it took me a few hours to realize that I could be a Jin-Roh too. I had Bob From the Future cook me up some evil looking armor with red eyes and bitchin' horns, and then I had him send me back in time to 1960s Japan where in I could start my own special unit and kill people who piss me off legally. Well, the ass by mistakenly sent me to 1920s Japan and I inadvertently began their quest for all of Eastern Asia and eventually set them up for WWII. I guess that happens some times. The only sucky thing was that I had to sell my armor for a trip to the Arctic where I buried myself in a glacier so that I could cryo-sleep until two days ago.

The Wolfman must proceed to bestow upon this movie 5 Pentagrams of Evil.... That's a good rating in case you were wondering. Yeah, it may have been a bit boring in the middle, but that lull was needed to show how corrupt people in general are and how they need to start worshiping the dog god Canineticus, who will FEED UPON YOUR SOUL if you don't kiss my ass.

BOB of the Future Brigade

This movie was like a history lesson come to life for me. You see, in my time we knew of the great "Political Purging" of the late 21st century in which most of the politicians of the world were either systemically slaughtered like lambs in a grinder, or banished into Black Hole 7439 at the far end of the Milky Way. The ingenious way in which this historic event was so well planned out was by having the soldiers of the rebellion wear wolfskins as they slinked from house to house and took out half of the major world government players in the course of a night. Then when day broke, they just said "Fuck it," and put on some styling body armor and went from national capital to national capital and shot everybody up with explosive tipped bullets and hyper tank lasers. The images in my history book are quite impressive.

Jin-Roh was a treat. It was such a happy movie. I will give it a full 156 laser gun shot salute!