Level E

Stop right there! Level E is one of the few series out there that I will tell you NOT TO READ A GODDAMN THING ABOUT IT — or even find out what genre it falls under — and to just find a copy of it and watch it. Do it. And seriously, avoid the description of it on ANN or on any bittorrent site you go to. Your enjoyment of this show will double, or possibly triple, if you go in absolutely blind like I did.

Here's my rating of it, right off the bat too, in case you don't already believe that it's worth your time. I give Level E 6 out of 6 Stars of Space Princeliness. It is indeed most superb.

Now, for all you bastards out there who don't know what's good for you, I will explain to you why you need to watch this series with spoilers.... Seriously, just knowing what kind of a show it is will take out some of the most excellent surprises Level E has to offer. Are you sure? Really?...... God you're a cunt-rag who doesn't know what's good for you. FINE!

SPOILERS OUT THE ASS, YOU MONGO

Level E is all about an alien prince from the planet Dogura who crash lands on Earth (after an accident on his mothership), and finds himself chased by some Japanese scientists, some other hostile aliens, and his personal guards, all of whom he wants to avoid for one reason or another. He is helped in his quest to evade capture by a baseball playing high school kid who's one step away from being a thug/yakuza badass, and the high school guy's cute neighbor/possible girlfriend. Together they try to escape all the horrors and terrors that await the prince if he ever falls into any of his enemies' hands.

There. Now go watch it. Seriously... What? That sounds too retardedly lame for you? Sounds like a strange and pathetic Japanesy E.T. rip-off? Fine, I'll tell you what Level E is really about now. Fucker.

Level E is really about what I just said it was about in the paragraph above, but the space prince of Dogura is in actuality the galaxy's largest a-hole. During the first part of the series he does enlist the help of this high school kid (one Yukitaka Tsutsui), but since the prince has one of the highest IQs ever universally recorded, and he gets bored easily, he makes it his life's goal to use his giant brain to piss off anyone and everyone who comes his way simply by being the biggest dickhole you've ever seen. And you will love him for it. Really, Level E makes you root for the jerk. I don't know why the prince is so likeable, but dammit, he's sooooo fucking smooth!

Really, the amount of planning and the level of detail that Mr. Prince puts into each and every one of his multi-layered plots to cheese off the people around him is absolutely breathtaking. I was so jealous of his abilities, I'll tell you what. If I could fuck with my friends with a quarter of the awesomeness that the prince does, I'd die a very happy man at my amigos' hands as they beat me to death.

Okay, so the space prince is a brilliant douchebag of extraordinary magnitude... "Is that it?" you ask like a pussy who's been deservedly mentally fucked with his whole life by bullies much smarter than himself and thinks that any kind of smart ass is evil and not worth his time. No, that bit with the prince evading capture with his high school helper is only the first of 7 stories told in this unfortunately short series. In some other space princely tales our genius antagonist fucks with some grade schoolers and their hot teacher, he helps his entourage (who were recently made responsible for the sentient native lifeforms on Earth) try to avoid the mass extinction of mankind by way of hot and horny alien babes from an all female, queen bee-led planet, and he does his best to avoid marriage to the princess of a neighboring planet to his own, despite the fact that she is as in-fucking-sane as her betrothed.

In reading that back, I'll admit that it doesn't sound a fraction as exciting or high-larious as the show proper, but that's because I will not ruin any of the funny as hell and ingenious jokes in this series. There is no way just telling you about the funny will ever add up to the same amount of funny as actually watching the prince in action. And those last two episodes alone! I had to rewatch them as soon as I was finished simply because the mass amount of treachery and betrayals within made my head spin in a most vomit-inducing (but fun) way. The gambles, the stakes, and the finale were super A+++++ awesome power great! Would buy from again.

END SPOILERS

...................What? I'm done. My final rating is above. Did you forget? You know what, don't watch this show, retard. It's too good for you. You just wouldn't understand it even if you tried. It'd be like that time you tried to watch Frasier and didn't get any of the jokes, but laughed like you did just so your friends wouldn't suspect you had an IQ lower than Corky's shoe size. Just fuck off.

Oh boy. You think this show is funny, huh? Well, let me tell you something, my ancestors, it was indeed NOT funny when a space prince from the far off planet of GthsdZzlknexxtirpqw (pronounced "Greta Garbo" funnily enough) showed up and started making a mess of Earth 3. First he started taking old people's life savings by claiming that he had $$600trillion (roughly $4.5million of your money, 21st Centuriers) stored in a hidden, hyper-magnetically sealed laser vault in a far-off war-torn space country, and he needed just a little capital investment to get it all back, and he'd gladly share the treasure with whoever helped him... There was no treasure, as my Granny Fukui would attest!

Oh, and then that space prince of GthsdZzlknexxtirpqw got the president of Nouveau France to marry the princess of Tanzor Prime, only to have President Jerry Lewis XIV find out on his honeymoon that his legally-binding First Lady was really just a Kryptyn Sea Slug with a Fleshlight ®™ taped to it! Some say the Nouveau France President was shocked at the revelation, but others believe that he knew the whole time but had to act that way when the paparazzi took some holophotos of him sucking and fondling his then fiancee's 30 tentacle-jubblies during a star cruise to the asteroid field remnants of Earth 1.

And let us not forget that scoundrel's most heinous act of juvenile jokery! Once, that insane individual tricked a high-ranking member of the First Army of the Chef of the Iron Brigade into making sweet, sweet love to him over and over before revealing to that poor soldier that he was not in fact a "high class call girl" and was in fact a space prince who was well versed in tucking and hiding his male parts like a so-called "Buffalo Bill" from some pre-Hegira theatrical movie release having something to do with getting some extinct livestock to shut up. And that he was recording the private event and planning to broadcast it to the Datasphere as soon as he got dressed. That soldier got his revenge though, when I tricked that deceptive asshole into falling into a vat of industrial lava used for cleaning up the spooge rooms in that one strip club that brave and just soldier always visited. He shall bother the universe no more!

I give this animated program a terrible review simply because it features a main character who's just as dickish as that prince I once knew, I mean I had heard of. He even looks a bit like him too, only not as melty and skeletal as I last left him. No Laserblast Salute for this program. No sir.

What the fuck, yo!? Word, so this space prince guy comes along and does all this crazy shit, because you know, he CAN. He's the goddamn space prince! But that's ALL he does? Fuck that shit! If I was the space prince I'd spend all my days lookin' for the hottest poon to tang with my royal space dick! I'd be flying through the galaxy scorin' space Mary Jane and drinkin' all the space Vodka I cans handle! Then I'd score some more space whores! Rinse, repeat. That damn fool's done doin' it all wrong, G!

Good and all that, but not at all realistic. He's supposed to be super smart and all that shiznit, yet Mr. Space Prince can't figure out the best path to livin' right is not bein' a total scrote, but bagging hos and huffin' blows! Somethin' wrong with that, my homies.