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Tenshi Ni Narumon!!
NAVY SEALS!?!?!?!  NAVY SEALS?!?!?!?!

I can't explain to you why I like this show so much. I'm going to look like a total wuss for this, but ya know, that happens sometimes.

To start out with, Tenshi Ni Narumon is way too damn cute for its own good. That right there is going to keep a lot of people away from it. What's weird about it though is that it's hypnotically cute. You just can't look away from it! You watch the first episode and the ultra-sugar content almost makes you go into a hyper induced coma.... But you find that as much as it almost hurts... you NEED more.

Tenshi goes a little something like this: An average high school boy who's single dad is out of the country (aren't they all) finds a mysterious and TOTALLY ANNOYING bubble-headed blonde and by mistakenly kisses her. She then believes that he wants to marry her (despite the fact that he's already totally hard up for a hot little number on the school's diving team) and has her family (consisting of a vampire brother, an oni/Frankenstein's monster dad, an invisible older sister, a witch mother and grandmother, and an inventive-elf younger sister) move into his house while he's at school that day. Noelle (the annoying lead) wants to be Yuusuke's (the average kid who kissed her) angel... Because she's an idiot. Well, it's probably destiny too considering she already has a halo over her head.

"That already sounds stupid," you say? "Why would anybody give it a chance knowing that it's a retarded kids' show?" you ask? Because other than Noelle (the most irritating character ever created for the small screen) every character is pretty cool. Yeah, that's saying a lot for a series who's theme song is so incredibly bubbly and upbeat that it will drill a hole in your head and leave you in a ditch to die after you hear it three times in a row, but it's true. The invisible sister, Sarah, is ultra hot (when she wants to be seen). Gabriel, the vampire, has the mouth like a sailor and likes to only suck the blood from hot chicks. Momma, the witch, is a babe too, and she can spike a mean volleyball. And we can't forget Miruru, one of the bestest cat-girls ever drawn! She's so conniving and selfish it'll bring tears to your eyes. But the coolest character of all is Silky. I wish I could say more about her, but it might ruin a good thing for you.

You start off with the first 4 episodes saying to yourself, "This is weird.... yet addictive." Then by episode 5 you get a kick in your pants as to how Tenshi's storytelling can sometimes punch you in the mouth like Iron Mike. There's a bit of repetition up through episode 11, but then 12 and 13 slap you in the nuts until you're at the edge of your seat! The last 5 minutes of episode 13 make everything up to that point seem well worth while. We get back into the usual pace of things from 14 to 21, but then 22 kicks you in the ass and makes you stand up and pay attention. 23 uses a hacksaw to your shins. 24 stabs you in the stomach with a broad sword. 25 rips your nads off and stuffs them in a blender!! Then the final episode, 26, beheads you, stuffs monkey shit and firecrackers in your neck-hole, throws your skull off a cliff and watches as your brain blows up in a multicolor pyrotechnic display sure to please the whole family!!!!!!.... and all in a good way. The last bit after the final closing credits is just the cherry on top.

Tenshi Ni Narumon... How do I rate thee? I'd have to give it a 98% out of 100%. I don't know why I like something this saccharine filled, but I do. I'm even a bit ashamed of it. Yet that doesn't change my mind.

Snoochie Boochies!

WARNING! Satan uses some pretty heavy spoilers in her evil review... But what did you expect, she's sin incarnate.

........... What the hell was that?! Tenshi Ni Narumon? Holy fuck I need an aspirin. That vexing wannabe angel, Noelle, reminds me way too much of the type of moronic halo-wearing freaks that run all around Heaven preaching peace and love! They were the reason I had to get the fuck out of that place!!

This anime only had one thing going for it: Silky. Silky was my bitch. If anybody tried to make me an angel again against my will I'd be pretty pissed off too! I did like Michael for a bit there in the last few episodes, but then he had to go and redeem his damn self. Redemption sucks! I was also cheesed when I found out that Papa had his horn removed. Why the fucking shit would a person ever cut off a horn on purpose?! Then he lets his little girl try and become an angel for the sake of a gay boy who hates her?! What the hell is wrong with this Alabama-backwards incestuous family?!?!?!?!

I'd rather watch Pee Wee Herman in that movie theater in Florida over and over again rather than watch this filth! I only give Tenshi Ni Narumon 1/4 of a Star out of 5. I just wanted to shoot Noelle in the head with a harpoon gun after the first 5 minutes.

Wicki wicki!

Whoa..... This was a trip. I mean a trip as in the drug induced kind. Lots of big, cuddly wuddly monsters scaring adorable, big-eyed girls with halos. Lots of talk about angels and monsters and demons and such too. I tried to make an angel myself once. I took a baby and surgically grafted a pair of albatross wings to its back. I then added a fluorescent "ring light" to its skull for the halo. The thing never stopped crying. It ended up flying around the lab for about 15 minutes trying to find a way out. I opened the window for it after it took a crap on my head from the rafters and it flew out like a bat out of hell! The last I heard it had apparently fried itself on some power lines and blacked out most of downtown Atlanta. The people in the neighborhood where the power lines were ate like kings that night. I'll tell ya, that baby was a chunker!

I'm Gonna Be An Angel deserves no less than a thumbs up from me. All those devices that Dispell and Silky threw at that Noelle girl gave me plenty ideas for future experiments. Now, if only I could make my own shape shifting Muse....