The Sixth Day

The ROSSMAN

I lost $5 on this movie. I bet Carl that no Arnold movie could possibly be worse than End of Days. GODDAMMIT!!!!

The 6th Day is so bad that it thinks that the sport of the future will be the XFL. It seriously believes this. Isn't the XFL already dead? Christ! My head hurts just thinking about this film. It's all about cloning and how some people think it's a bad idea. Others don't. Ah-nold gets mixed up in everything when the helicopter company he owns flies somebody who's been cloned and then other Green-Peace-like assholes kill the clone and Ah-nold's pilot friend. But the people who clone people think that it was really Ah-nold who was flying the copter that day, so they clone him by mistake. Then people start shooting at him and more people die and are re-cloned.

It may sound complicated, but it's just stupid. It tries incredibly hard to be a remake of Total Recall but falls on its ass over and over. The music sounds like a cheesy rip off of every 80s over-synthesized soundtrack ever produced and it's pretty painful to listen to after a while. The laser guns that everyone uses in the future are really fucking cool though. They sound rugged when fired too and not like a gay phazer from Star Trek like most sci-fi movies steal from. But there's just one thing that made me hate this movie beyond anything I've loathed in a looooong time. Arnold acting along side Arnold. It was painful. The dude sucks at delivering his own lines and that problem is only emphasized when he's talking to himself! He may have been cool in his day, but it's pretty obvious that the big guy's stopped reading scripts (both before signing on to a film and right up through filming). He just can't act anymore (well, if he ever could is debatable). I say we just put him out to pasture or simply let him open more of those crappy Planet Hollywoods and tell him that we need more shots of him in front of a ribbon with those big scissors.

I have to rate The 6th Day a D Minus. It was worse than End of Days, sure, but not as bad as What Planet Are You From. Nothing is as bad as What Planet Are You From.

ROBOT PEDRO

Robot Pedro loves The 6th Day. Soon humans will destroy themselves with cloning and then robots will rule the world.

SATAN

This is a disturbing predicament I find myself in. I found that The 6th Day sucked Harry Potter's balls, but at the same time it also brought despair and fear to the lives of many film goers.

Hmmmmmmm, I'd have to give it a 5 out of 10 Satan points. It made me feel nauseous, but just imagine how it made all of Japan feel.