A
Time for/of Thanks
page
2
And here are some more zany,
kooky Rossman Peoples and all of their shankfulness.
Robot Pedro
 "It
is hard for me to comprehend my own logic sometimes, but as a
human you may be too stupid to understand the duality of my thinking
circuits. For instance, I am thankful for time travel. It has
allowed me to leave behind all of the fear, and the anger, and
the hate which leads to suffering of my own time. Yes, there
may be more fellow evil robots in the future, but that's like
having too many chefs in the kitchen. It spoils what the Rock
is cooking. Try stomping on an old lady's head when there are
20 other evil robots around trying to beat you to the squish.
Or attempt to eat fluffy kittens when there are only 3 kittens
in a basket and 50 evil robots salivating around it. I was forced
to kill many fellow malicious robots just to sample these simple
pleasures in my original temporal setting. |
|
 "I
am also NOT thankful for time travel, because it has brought
to me my most hated enemy to date. I am talking about Carl XXIII.
He is one hell of an evil bastard. What makes him even more mean
than me is that the only thing that he wants to destroy is my
ass! It is horrible trying to live my life while constantly looking
over my shoulder in trepidation, wondering, worrying. Evil robots
should not feel this way. We should be causing the fear.
Damn you Carl XXIII!!!
"I
am thankful for high powered, photon discharging, laser guns
that can shoot through the titanium encasings of human body armor.
They are a Godsend. Though, I am not very thankful for cloaking
devices. I really do not like the idea that evil humans in said
titanium encased body armor can sneak up on me as if my robot
sensors and radar did not exist. Those humans are cocks. |
 "One
more thing I am thankful for is Don Knotts. The man is a comedy
genius! Imagine a world, even a future world, without the laughter
that he has brought us all! One would not have such classic examples
of thespianism as the later years of Three's Company,
The Incredible Mr. Limpet, Cannonball Run II, The
Apple Dumpling Gang or Private Eyes. But you must
also remember the laws of cause and effect. Without Don Knotts
The Andy Griffith Show would have been canceled in three episodes
and Opie would have committed suicide from the shame and guilt.
Then there would have been no Splash or Willow!!
Think about it for a second, fleshbag. Without Mr. Furley I would
not want to function anyway." |
|
Carl XXIII
 "*WHEEEEEEZE!!!*
I am thankful for the technology of my time. It has allowed me
to live my life kinda normally.... Except for the fact that I've
been stuffed inside this tin box since my birth. I am also thankful
for the emotion of 'revenge'. It has sustained me in ways that
my medic-armor could not have. It has given me purpose in life.
It has allowed me to come close to avenging my ancestors and
myself for the atrocities that Robot Pedro has forced upon us.
*WHEEEEEEZE!!!*
 "As
a side note to that, I am very thankful that robots can cry.
Even evil robots. It allows me to know that the pain that I inflict
does not go unnoticed by the inflictee.
"I
am also thankful for midgets.... Or do they prefer 'dwarves'.
I think that Hank (the angry drunken dwarf) said that they prefer
'dwarf' to 'midget'. I might be mistaken. The point is that in
my world (several hundred years in the future from right now,
but still several thousand years behind Bob From the Future's
time) dwarves are our currency. *WHEEEEZE!!!* Paper moneys
do not exist. In fact paper cannot exist at all. The nuclear
fallout 50 years before has turned the Earth into a nuclear winter
vacation and paper simply disintegrates within hours of being
produced. It's not the healthiest atmosphere to bring children
up in, but it's home. *WHEEEEEEEEZE!!!* So anyway, we
use midgets as currency. Sorry, I meant dwarves. We actually
call them 'mini money people' though. The ones that haven't mutated
are worth the most." |
|
"It
is KUNI time! Howdy asshole!! Kuni is power! Kuni is AWESOME!
Kuni thank that the power is belong to me. The power is supreme
excellence! Can you feel it?! Touch of Kuni pants and
leak the power! It is strong!
"Alcohol.
What the fuck did you think I was thankful for?