Issue #15: Iraq Down... Who's Next? China? Syria? Korea?
Yo Momma?

 ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz........

 *Fap* *FAP* *Fapp* *Fap* *FAP*
Oh GOD, YESSSSSS!

 ZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz..... Huh?.... ZZZzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZ......

 *FAP* *FAP* *Fapp* *Fap* *FAP* *FAP*
Come on!!! That's it, thaaaaat's it!!! Spank my ass pink with a tire iron!!! AAAaaaaAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!

 *Snoooore....* What the fuck?! HOLY SHIT! What in the goddamn hell are you doing in my bed chambers, you fucktard?!?! MARIO!!! Get in here, Mario!

 Oh man! You-you're awake?! Uhhhh, it's not what you think!

 Your pathetic little cock is out and you've got baby oil all over your hands while you were standing above my unconcious body with Penthouse and Playboy spooge mags all over the floor... "Not what I think?!" Is your brain in your cue stick there? Did you give yourself brain damage after shaking it like a British nanny for all those lonely years of your pitiful and void life?
MARIO!!!! Get your greasy ass in here NOW!!!!!

 Goddammit, Link! You sonnuvabitch!

 ...........................................................

 You tell him, Mario! Fucking sic that ugly monkey of yours on him after you pour banana juice all over Link's ass!

 You shit stain of an elf, can't you do anything right?

 Yeah, shove a redhot poker up his... What?!

 Sorry, Zelda. Link pulled a fabulous fubar just now.

 Huh, what? Well... I-I don't see any fubar on me or my sheets... But it sure looked like he was about to!

 No, no, see, I was charging him $500 an hour to whack off over what we all thought was your decomposing corpse. Who knew you were still alive? I mean, it's been, what, three thousand years since you fell under that spell?

 ........I went to sleep 2 hours ago. What the bloody horse cock are you babbling about?

 Wha?...... Umm, I was pretty sure that that was you who.... Hmmmmmm.

Maybe you were thinking about that other Zelda. The one from the tale of old that told of how her fartastic brother was convinced by that evil Wizard that only with the goods from his royal sister could he unlock the power of the TriTitties and live in fairie land with his incestuous sibling for all of eternity while they painted each other's bodies with honey and wine and ran around naked for the rest of their lives until she became enchanted and fell into a deep sleep where her brother sodomized her every night in the brave effort to wake her up and get his rocks off at the same time......

 ........................................

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 .... Well, if you will all excuse me for a few minutes.
*ZZZZZZIP!*  *Fap* *FAP* *Fapp* *Fap* *FAP*

 That old retainer is soooooooo fucking fired.
But as for you, Mario and Link. You are both to be castrat.... Wait a minute. Mario, how much did you say that you were getting limp-dick here to cough up to watch me sleep?

 Half a grand an hour... Why, Your Kinkiness, were you starting to get into it?

 You sick daddy-licking mongo! Hells no!! Buuuut, I did have an idea that I wouldn't mind going in with you on.
You see, *Whisper whisper whisper....*

 Ahhhhhhhh, soooooooooo.
  Later that day.....

 So, you little robotic glob of snail gism, just sit on the bed and fall asleep. If you lay still for a good 6 hours I'll give you a blueberry Pop Tart.

 Megaman feel pretty!

 Good! Go with that! Make them believe it too. They're here! Now just go to sleep already.

 Oh boy! I can't wait! This time Mario said that I could touch her tah-tahs and her hoodilly!

 This better be as good as you described it, faggy one. I've already got my spacesuit's autovibrator going at the highest setting and it's doing nothing for me...

 *Hic!* Ho boy... So where's this bear I gotta rape?.... *Belllllch!*

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This Page is a copyrighted Rossman Production. Though, of course, NONE of the characters are belong to him. They are all the property of the rich and powerful Japanese Yakuza (known as Nintendo Corporation), and neither the Yakuza nor the big N support this page or probably even want it up. The opinions on this page are not necessarily the Rossman's either (and they sure as hell ain't Nintendo's). He did create all of the graphics from memory and scratch and he is using them in a purely "satire-rific" manner, in order to be funny and make people laugh. So LAUGH, damn you!