Issue #22: Mel Gibson Hates Jews

Wait, what? Mel "The Passion" Gibson hates Mel Brooks and his buddies? Doesn't he know that Jesus was a Jew?
Mel Gibson is Jewish?
Have you been fucking the electrical outlet again? NO! He said that Mel Gibson hates rabbis and males with a little less pinky on their dinky.
Errr, wha?
Mel Gibson said that Jews are stinking up the world or somesuch. So now everybody's all pissed at him 'cause like everybody knows that it's the Irish who do that.
T'ain't the Irish, graivy stain, it's them Italians and their terrible b.o. and disgusting body hair that carpets them from head to --
Oh fuck.... I mean, it's the, the, the fuckin' Irish! Yeah, Hollywood hates the Irish. Italians are awesome!
So, the Jews who run Hollywood all hate Mel Gibson now?
Yeah, bunky. Because Mel got all sloshed and said some drunken, ramblin' things, like calling that female cop "sugar tits" and all, so the world is against him.
MegaMan thinks that is good. People who do and say bad things should be hated by the rest of us. Hollywood is always right! They don't like criminals and evil people. MegaMan hopes they take Mel Gibson's Oscars away from him for saying bad things!
Right on!
And Hollywood should also take away Tom Cruise's Oscar for "Risky Business" 'cause he's a scientist!
Uhh, sure... Yeah! Preach on!
And Hollywood was right to try to kill Roman Polanski for drugging and raping a 13 year old girl!
Uuuuummmm, what? No, dude, you're just confused now. See, Roman Polanski is part Jewish. So it's okay.
But, he ra--
No, see, yeah, he had s-e-x with a little girl after he slipped her some quaaludes and then sodomized her in a friend's house for a weekend, but he didn't say anything anti-semitic. So cut the guy some slack.
But, he --
No, see, all is forgiven with Polanski. He made "The Piano" and he even made a movie FILLED with underage actors and actresses, and he only touched a few of 'em, after he fled to Europe because mean, ol' Uncle Sam was going to send him to prison for 50 years. France forgave him for his little indescressions, so what crawled up your butt, blue boy?
You just have things a bit mixed up. In Hollywoodland, if you run into somebody's car and then drive away in a "hit and run" you don't go to jail and never work again... You get an Academy Award (TM), and people clap for you 'cause you're black...
And if you join a cult that takes all of your money, brainwashes you and your family, and makes you look like an idiot to the entire planet, you don't get sent to the loony bin, you get $30million for your next picture! You get my drift?
Hey! What if you murder your ex-wife and her new boyfriend? Like, slit their throats and shit?
Was she Jewish?
Ummm, nope. And say I'm black. And famous!
You're scott-free then, cherry-boy.
MegaMan is confused... This doesn't make any sense...
Here... Drink some of this champaign. And take this. This'll make you feel better. Muuuuch better.
M-m-m-m-m-m-mega whhhoooOOOOOOOOoooooaaaaa. *THUMP*
All right! I get to sodomize him first! Wait, he's not Jewish, is he?
Let me check..... Nope.... Damn, though! By the looks of things I'd say he's part elephant! I think he conceals it all by sticking it way up his own --
Dude, you had me at "elephant."

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