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Round 12: Currency
The Pound vs. the Franc. "Pound" sounds much more manly
despite "Franc" sounding like a man's name. It is a
wussy name (well, when pronounced by Frenchies it is).
But the big difference is how they spend. You see, everything
in England looks to be the same price as everything in the States.
For example, a pint of ale at a British pub would be around £3-4.
And at first one might think "Hey, $3 ain't bad at all"...
But consider that a £ is worth about $1.70 in real money
and that pint begins to look a bit less necessary (well, not
really. At this point one usually tries to figure out how much
of his budget for food for the rest of the trip can be diverted
to the "Pub Fund").
The Franc may sound really lame, but it makes you feel really
rich when you go to the currency exchange counter and change
like $30 into 20,005 Francs. Even when you buy a lemonade icee
on the street for like 700 Francs, you look in your wallet and
see that you have thousands left and you begin to feel like Bill
Gates or Larry Flint. And let me tell you, feeling like Larry
ain't really a bad thing (unless you get shot). Point to France.
Round 13: Things to do
Here we go. Final round.
England |
France |
Watch people smoke |
Ditto |
Hit some cramped and tiny museums |
See some huge museums |
See castles and shit |
See cathedrals and shit |
Make fun of the Royal Family |
Push frogs off the Eiffel Tower or the Arc'd Triumph |
Get piss drunk in a pub with lots of fun drunk Brits |
Piss off your rude Frenchie waiter by insulting his dead mother
(making comparisons to cattle and canines gets best results) |
Beat the crap out of freaky looking street performers who pretend
to be statues |
Beat the crap out of gay mimes |
Oogle the women |
Ditto (I must point out how much I love the French chickies'
big pouty lips and their exotic eyes *Growl!*) |
Shout "USA RULZ!" from the tops of old monuments |
Ditto |
When the drab England thing gets old, take the train up to Scotland
and live life fully! |
Obviously Ditto |
Point to England.
Well, I don't give a shit about what the points may really add
up to, the French suck and so England wins automatically. God
save the Queen and all that. I'm going back to Scotland.
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After Big D, Little J, Celeste, Janet, Dave the Dazzling, Gregory,
Chi-Chi, Julie, Jonothan, Leslie, Katie, Sarah, Laura, Rachel,
Tom and I had figured out how much the bill to dinner in the
pub really was (in US funds), we could fully understand what
this statue was so freaked out about. I said goddamn!
Buncha marties in this world I tell ya... And that's never a
good thing. |
Return to part 1 of the Final
Battle
Go Back to the Rossman
EXAMINER! |