Trey is nicknamed the Megaplayboy for the same reason you give a fat man the name "slim" and a bald man the name "curly." But he's totally into his moniker, so we just let it go. It does get annoying when he starts referring to himself in the third person with the name "the Megaplayboy" though. It's like he'll say "Hey, the Megaplayboy wants to know where we're goin' for lunch, bitch!" We're all usually like, "Dude, just use some fucking pronouns or something then we'll tell ya." Now that I think about it, whenever he does use the name the Megaplayboy when talking about himself he's probably just be thinking that one of the voices in his noggin goes by that title! Like a personality inside his mind says "Ask the fuckers if we're going to Compadres for Mexican!!! Do it!!!!!" Looking back, that explains a whoooole helluva lot. Like when he proclaimed matter of factly that goat dropping are great conditioners and proceeded to gently rub some (donated by Mr. Yablonski's goat) in his hair to prove his point. A few hours later he kept sniffing around saying "Man, did somebody step in some fuckin' crap or what.... Ya whores!!" We just laughed and said "That's the Megaplayboy for you."
The Megaplayboy swears that he has a job, but I don't think that anybody believes him. We can call his place at any time of day and he's there. He now says that he works at home but that probably just means that he surfs the web for pornography from dawn to dawn. Lord knows that's all I'd do if I stayed at home all day.... Just imagine what you could find if you had the unlimited free-time that the Megaplayboy has along with Bob From the Future's kick ass hyper-future hacking technological mad skillz at your beck and call! You could get all those high priced hottie sites for free!!
The Megaplayboy's favorite thing to do is listen to speed metal while he types things on his computers (usually 2 at once). It's kinda cool to watch as he tries to keep up with the drums and bass on his keyboards. He can usually stay with it for a good two or three hours before he burns out and collapses on the floor like a rabid dog that had to be put down (or even a non rabid one that drank too much anti-freeze). He usually just lies unconscious until we get hungry or bored and kick him awake. Then he always says "Yo, bitch! Don't be fuckin' wid no Megaplayboy like that! I oughta whore-slap yo sorry white ass to next Tuesday!... Why Tuesday, you ask? Cause Tuesday's when they picks up the TRASH in my hood!" He's not lying about the "hood" thing either. The Megaplayboy made a special point to rent a house in the shadiest part of Athens, GA... and let me tell you, there are LOTS of shady parts of Athens, GA. He lives right up the street from Liquor Store Alley (not a bad thing in and of itself) and the crapped out Dairy Queen. It's actually the DQ that one has to worry about. It's where the Bloods go after they kill a man to celebrate. The Megaplayboy brought me there along with Robot Pedro once during a "Kill Victory Party." Robot Pedro was stripped down to his CPU in less than 5 seconds. I had to kick the Megaplayboy in the bricks for that FUBAR. Dick.
All in all the Megaplayboy is fairly useful in my plot to control all the pornography in the world (which is why I don't make fun of his hourly downloads [in his pants] too much). You see, Robot Pedro computed that the way to rule the world is to control all the porno and all the Pokemon. It's pretty simple when you think about it, but his plan included hacking into the Illuminati servers and a human sacrifice. Turns out that the Megaplayboy is perfect for both!
MegaPlayboy Quote: "See, my god loooooooooves porn, bitch." |
