TheRossman.com is your one stop shop for everything from Reviews and Ratings and Roundtable Political Discussions to Exquisitely Written Essays that bring back memories of days gone by and Guides on How To Do Shit right.

TheRossman.com is not here for your amusement, it's just here for mine. Honestly, I'm my own biggest fan. It's not all ego, it's just that there's so much crap online that it's not really a competition. Yeah, this site is shitty too, but it smells slightly less fetid than than the rest of what's out there.

Rossman Subdivisions

Quote of the Weak:"Oh my god! Stop screaming at me! I barely had enough time to pull it out and stick it in!... Wow, that sounded just like my first date with Rachel from H.R.."

—Some guy who needed to slide his security card into the slot in the elevator (that was audibly blaring at his apparent inability to do so) in my office building this morning.

Druggle is the main man with the plan and the cigar to go all Monica whenever the need arises

Updates

012/28/2023

Like an idiot, I spent two weeks rewriting/re-editing an old fan parody that I made back in 2006 (Tenchi Muyo! Ryo-Ohki - PARODY: Software Wars), only to find that I can't upload it to any major torrent site due to my old accounts being inactive for so long. If anyone can help with that lameness, let me know. As for now, feel free to download the basic Torrent Magnet Link.

Tenchi Muyo! Ryo-Ohki PARODY - Software Wars

In the spirit of Hard KOR, Ranma 1/3, and What’s Up, Tigerlilly? comes SOFTWARE WARS! A parody mixing Tenchi Muyo, the Mac and PC Wars of the 80s and 90s, and a lot of crazy space incest.

SOFTWARE WARS! Instead of Tenchi, Yosho, Kagato, and Ryoko, meet Woz Jr., Steve Jobs, the dastardly Bill Gates, and the android housing the most complex AI OS ever, Mac OS XXX: Cougar Compton! Watch as Bill Gates stops at nothing to either own or destroy the work of his rivals! Experience the heartache as the director's girlfriend gets some choice lines despite having zero talent! Stare in disbelief as corporate espionage reaches new heights as both sides try to screw the other over! Whether a Windows or Mac fan, you will cream your jeans as you witness the SOFTWARE WARS!

---------------------------

I originally made version 1.0 of Software Wars back in 2006. It was very rough around the edges, it didn’t make much sense, and a LOT of the jokes have since become dated, but I always loved the main idea. So I went back to the drawing board, fixed up the pacing of most of the dialogue, tightened the main story, and rewrote about 2/3rds of all the lines for better jokes that fit the mouth flaps better.

It's stupid, it's vulgar, and it's very juvenile, but it's more entertaining than just looking up the same old p0rn again like your original plan for the night entailed.

1486X1080p (From Blu-Ray)

Enjoy Tenchi Muyo! Ryo-Ohki PARODY - Software Wars (Torrent Magnet Link).

05/05/2021

Things are only just beginning to go back to normal in the world, but we're not out of the shit-storm that was 2020 yet. That year cut deep. It'll probably take a full decade to get past it. But in the meantime, here's a bunch more videos for you to watch and use to forget about the horrible stuff going on for just a little while.

01/8/2021

New year, same shit as the last. Ugh. I got nothin' new to say about current events, so here's just a new list of YouTube videos I made. Go bonkers.

10/26/2020

Here's a couple more Youtube vids for you. First, What the Hell Did I Just Watch - Birth Rite, and Am I Misremembering - Time Bandits. We're in the middle of a quarantine... What the hell else have you got to do?

09/28/2020

And now I have two more videos for you. Which you'd know about if you subscribed to my Youtube channel already. First is an anime review about the 1985 Vampire Hunter D movie (fun, right, okay...), and then a "How To" video about How to Teach Women Over 60 How to Use a Computer. Go watch, then go live it.

8/29/2020

My second video is done. Lifeforce is one of those strange movies that inexplicably altered my life at a (way too) young age. You may remember it as "that weird space vampire movie where they turn London into a living hell and that hot brunette never puts on any clothes." I take a look back at this flick and see if it still holds up today or if I am simply misremembering it.

Better audio, tighter editing, a more insane topic, and it's NOT an hour long. Enjoy Lifeforce - Am I Misremembering!

Other Stuff That Will Shit Your Pants For You

I've created a ton of stuff for this site over the past 15 years. Here’s some more Rossman crap (that you probably didn't know existed) that you can check out: *YAMACSICO*; How To Do Shit; 100 Things You Should Know About Me, the Rossman; G.I. Joe Versus Cobra and Physics, The Pyramid of Darkness, The Movie and Logic, Cobra & Serpentor (and Physics); Your Guide to Living Life Right; OniCon; Make Your Own Mongo Comics; Nuts To This! Online Comics; and the Links to the Universe.

If you're nostalgic for crap, here's the old Nintendo Power-Themed Rossman Home Page, and here's an even Older Rossman Home Page that was made over sixty years ago. If you just want to Email me, go ahead. Frankly I don’t really give a damn if you don't.

"Oh my god! Stop screaming at me! I barely had enough time to pull it out and stick it in!... Wow, that sounded just like my first date with Rachel from H.R.."

—Some guy who needed to slide his security card into the slot in the elevator (that was audibly blaring at his apparent inability to do so) in my office building this morning.