Maburaho
(Reviewed on 06/16/2004)
The Heretical ROSSMAN
This show was the most magically BLATANT rip-off of the whole Harry Potter phenom that I have ever even heard about... Well, it was until somebody told me about Negima, but that's neither hear nor there. Seriously, the only reason I sat through this unoriginal piece of tripe was because I went through so much effort to get a hold of it. And the only reason I went through so much damn trouble to get a hold of it was because I could have sworn I had heard that it was done by Studio Bones (who did the uber-tacular Cowboy Bebop Movie, RahXephon and FullMetal Alchemist, among others). Well, it WASN'T done by Bones nor was it bewitching in the least. It WAS a wizardly waste of time though. Time I'll never get back even through the use of black magics. CROM!!!!!!
Maburaho is all about the wussiest boy in all of Japan (wow, it's amazing how many of my anime reviews start out this way), Shikimori Kazuki, who's going to a Wizarding School in order to learn how to use and control his power. See, magic in Maburaho's world is finite within those who can use it, meaning that wizards and witches can only use a certain amount of spells in their lifetime. If they use up all their magic they turn to ash. We see it happen a few times throughout the story, and it's really kind of creepy. But anyway, the average witch/wizard can use magic 8,000 times in his/her life (while some can even use it up to 140,000 times). Our main wussboy hero (and I use the term "hero" very loosely, but the word "wussboy" doesn't seem strong enough) can only magic eight times before he's dusted. But, despite this little setback he's the luckiest bastard in the world for he has 3 really cute/hot chicks chasing after his bod.
See, it turns out that Shikimori has tons of famous and powerful witches and wizards in his ancestry (according to his family tree in one shot his great-great-great-grandfather is H. Potter... Laaaaaaaame). So, in anime logic, it's figured that his kids will probably be the most powerful magic users ever born. And so we have cute pink-haired Yuna, grave and traditional, purpled-headed Rin, and rich and blonde Kuriko chasing him for his genes (Shikimori also has a brunette childhood girlfriend who loves him, but whatever). And because Shiki's such an incredibly gay faggot, he won't do it with any of them despite the fact that THEY WANT TO JUMP HIS WILLOWY BODY. I mean, Shiki is not only wimpy, but he gets terrible grades, he's non-athletic, he's wishy washy, and on top of that there's the whole "Can only use magic 8 times" dealy. But, like any good harem anime (well, is there such a thing as a "good" harem anime?) the chicks don't care how much of a total lamer the main character is (and I swear, Shiki talks in a voice that sounds like his seiyuu zipped up too fast in the men's room right before recording), as long as he doesn't want to fuck them, they want him more and more. Does that make any kind of sense to you?
Let's jump into the girls' side of things here.
Yuna is from a once powerful magic family that's lost it's prestige
in the world. She's beyond controlling and ruled by jealousy
(she flips out if another girl looks in Shiki's direction
cause the Coke machine is behind him, and then blows up [literally,
with magic] her man and the girl doing the looking just for
kicks). She's told by her elders that an uber-magic baby would
be just the thing to salvage her family's name and importance.
Rin is from a long line of samurai mages (wha?!) and in order
to raise her clan up in the political world of magic users,
she's ordered to make a mini-mage with Shiki. Kuriko is from
the most powerful magic family in the world, but in order to
remain on top she's told it's her duty to get that wimpy baby-batter!
Of course their reasons change when they come to realize that
although Shikimori may not be the sharpest light in the attic,
he's kind stupid enough to completely and utterly WASTE
his remaining few magic usages on their wimpy little problems
without a thought to his own heath. Now, do the math: Shiki
has 8 usages left at the start of episode one. He pretty much
uses one spell up per episode. This show is 24 episodes long.
Yup, you guessed it, SPOILERS!!!!
So, Shiki blows spell after spell on his three whores (and on his childhood girl friend [a friend who's a girl, just not a girlfriend]), where only one or two of which were really necessary. Granted, the spells that he does cast are more powerful than something like 100 combined spells from anybody else, but the point is he still only has 8. So before the midpoint of the series he uses his last casting up on Yuna (who retardedly caught a magic disease that uses up points of her magic each time she sneezes or coughs... but once again who cares). So, Shiki blasts the magic cold out of her, and then turns to ash. Buuuuut, since he feels that there's unfinished business left for him on this plane of existence (and since he burned up so completely and fast), he turns into a ghost. The rest of the show is all about his three (then four) bitches trying to turn him back...er, alive. Hilarity attempts to, but ultimately fails to ensue.
END OF SPOILERS
"Okay," you say, "that sounds kind of lame... But are there any good parts to Maburaho?" Yeah, a few. The music for one is totally different from any other anime soundtrack I've ever heard. Lots of electric guitar work. Pretty schway. The opening is also waaaaay too catchy for it's own good. Goddammit!! Get that song out of my fucking head!!! AAARRRGH!!!! The very end (after the final closing credits) was pretty original too. I honestly did not see that coming. Now, the Mabu ending is no Gunbuster or Combustible Campus Guardress, but it's a nice little twist. Unfortunately it was the most interesting part of the whole 12 hours of storytelling.
Yeah, there were some mysteries to solve throughout the plot (like what was up with the doctor's insane sister, and why the crap did the dorm manager always wear mourning clothes and a veil), but once you find out why you're like, "Who gives a shit?"
Now for the REALLY negative parts of the show. Maburaho had only 4 likable characters at all in it (that's from out of like 30 speaking roles): Rin, Kuriko, the dorm manager, and Shiki's childhood friend. The rest were either annoying (like Shiki's homeroom teacher and the ghost girl) or SO FUCKING ANNOYING that you wanted to crucify them through your own television set despite knowing that it's physically impossible but hoping that just once God would give you the gift of a miracle to make it happen because he hated them even more than you did (like Yuna, and every other bitchy girl and bastard of a guy who was in Shiki's class... They were all such greedy ASSHOLES that it hurt to watch on occasion). That's a lot of annoying or evil people in one short show. And NONE of them ever got any real comeuppance. That truly pissed me off. Evil dickheads, even if they're good at being assholes (which they were not in this series), should get what's coming to them by the end of the story. Otherwise the viewer is left with rage that they got off scott free.
The Potter-Fixated JAIME
My brother told me that he got a copy of an animated Harry Potter, so I was very excited to sit down and watch the whole thing with him thinking that I'd get to see more adventures of Harry, Ron and Hermione in a new cartoon... Well, I was kind of upset to find out that not only was it NOT Harry Potter, but I was really ticked to find out that the whole thing sucked (pardon my French)! Really, what a waste of an afternoon. And I got my hopes set so high just dreaming about that adorable Harry and all the mischief he was bound to get all caught up in! He'd evade He Who Must Not Be Named, blow up Malfoy, save Hogwarts and throw a party in the Griffindor commons room! Then he'd come to me... Yesss, then Harry would come to me and say in his glorious English accent, "Jaime, might I rub your shoulders for you a bit, luv? You look ever so tired after helping me out on my most dangerous adventure just now... Here, let me loosen your robes for you... Is that better? Now, would you like to see my magic wand?" OH YES!!!! YES, Harry! Oh-... Oh?! Um.. Yeah, Mabuhabu was terrible... I have to go now.
The Non-Confrontational
MALCOLM Z
First of all, I can't believe that cracker of a Rossman made me watch this shit. Second of all, I can't believe he got me to then acknowledge that I saw it and actually write a review about it for the world to see. The man should be a mothafuckin politician, my brothers.
Yo, so Maburaho is about this Harry Potter fucker who goes to Hogwarts and then gets three bitches hangin' on him just so's they can get into his pants. But the boy's gay, so like that ain't gonna fly. To explain the rest of this shit would hurt my brain too much, so instead I'd like to fuckin' cover one part of this so called piece of entertainment that perplexed my black ass more than the actual question of "why the fuck did this show get made in the first fuckin' place?!" My perplexion comes from the fact that those little bitch and bastard witches can only use magic a certain number of fuckin' times before they's gone all combustible and shit, 'ight? Some can use magics like 200,000 times in they's life... Which is a mothafuckin' LOT. That's one magic trick a day for like 548 years. They're nice and covered. But, the majority can only use them's spells 8,000 times before they go all *Poof!*. That's only one magic thingy a day for 22 years. And considering the fucks in that Hogwarts throw magic around like 200 times per episode, pretty much everybody gonna die before they're legally able to drink a nice, cold Colt45. What a cryin' shame. You know, I might actually shed a tear for those sad fucks, but I din't like even one of them the whole show. They was all worse assholes than that goddamn robot the Rossman keeps locked up in his garage. Fuck 'em all.
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