Issue #24: (I Can't Believe We Haven't Done This One Yet)
Global Warming

Ahhhhhhhhh, that's good tabacky!
Druggle, you know you shouldn't smoke. Not only is it bad for your health and the healths of those around you, but it contributes to greenhouse gasses which build up in the atmosphere and then cause the world to heat up like the inside of my EZ Bake Oven! Then we all die!
Exactly! I'm just hoping you go first.
NO! You must listen to zee gay elf! If ve do not shtop vith zees Global Varming vee vill cause zee whole vorld to go ka-put! Zee oceans vill rise like in zat shitty Kevin Costner movie...
Vell, like zat shitty Kevin Costner movie vich also had Dennis Hopper in eet, and all zose boats and shtuff.
Oooooh yeah. That one sucked.
Zhen all zee animals burn up and zey die! Zhen zee tidal vaves come and drown us all! Zhen ve eat all our own children! Zhen zee aliens--
Mega-no! Megaman says not to listen to Dr. Wily! Dr. Light programmed Megaman to know when Dr. Wily tells lies. Megaman says Dr. Wily talking out of his ass right now!
Megaman seems to forget zat Dr. Vily had previously installed zis chip in Megaman's shkull... Now DANCE, Megaman! Dr. Vily demands it!
M-M-M-M-Megaman c-c-c-can't stop th-th-the rock!
That's nothing, I can usually get the little ass-fungus to pee while doing a handstand after only half a bottle of cheap scotch.
Anyvay, ve must combine all zee vorld's efforts into shtopping Global Varming immediately!.... Vell, zee entire vorld except for China and India, zee largest creators of greenhouse gases by far, because zhey scare me.... But zee US must shtop now! Global Varming! Aaaaaaaaaahhh!!!!!
Hold it right there, pilgrim!
D-D-D-D-D-Doctor L-L-L-L-Light! M-Megaman's hero!
Howdy there, my little blue buddy!.... By the way, did you get that vacuum attachment add-on I sent you?
V-V-V-Vacuuming is for ladies, Doctor! M-M-Megaman installed it on Roll instead.
*Siiiigh*... I guess that will have to do. Anyway, Stop right there, Dr. Wily! You know that global warming is nothing but utter bullshit science! See, I have a list of scientists backed by big oil who all state that you're full of doggy donuts! Admit it!
I admit NOSSING! Global Varming!!! GLOBAL VARMING!!!!! End of days!!!! Eet is all zee United States' fault! Nah nah nah nah! I can't hear you! Nah nah nah nah!!
Why you cock-smoking sonovabitch! I've built robots that have DIED for this country! How dare you blame America, you commie whore afterbirth! Mars went through "global warming" eons ago! Is that the US' fault? And the entire Earth goes through a stage of global freezing and then warming every few millenia too, hence the ice ages and the poles being temperate climates during the days of the dinosaurs! Plus your mother wears combat boots!
Uhhhhh, guys this is gay and all, but what the hell is that?
Ah-HA! Yes! Zis eez mein friend, zee environmental robot, TreeMan, or VoodMan, or EnviroMan... Or some sheet. Speak, TreeMan! Tell us ov your voes!
Sky... up there! Sky now dirty! Woodman sad.
Trees are wonderful creatures. So are treeMEN. Especially if they have large knots and holes in them... And no squirrels living inside those holes.
Uh, doc, what's Woody doing now?
Und now he eez hoomping zee ground. Eet eez nature's vay of saving zee planet. Plus I programmed him to do zat een order to help me get off vhen dirty pictures just aren't enough.
Jeezus... Gee, Mario, I just don't know about all of this "Save the Earth" crap. What do you think?

I don't know, Druggle. Sometimes I think it's a crock of shit, but then sometimes it SCARES the shit out of me. At the very least I think we should nuke China and India in order to get those assholes to stop using so much coal and gas themselves. Fuck those heathens.

Well, at least let us wait till all those Chinese sweatshops finish mass producing my David Hasselhoff blow-up dolls for the German market. Papa's gonna make a pretty penny off of that dealy-oh!
Ha ha, Druggle, you dog, you! Come here, let me give you a great big hug!
Umm, excuse me, please.... But did you say vhen zose "Zee Hoff" dolls vould be going on sale?
Oh, um, I was just gonna... Oh, the doctor beat me to it.

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