Issue #3: GOD

 Well, the debate today is on God..... Ummmmm. Any questions?

 Yeah! Hey, God, what the fuck am I supposed to do now that all my dope's been sniffed, smoked and shot up by some little dead-meat robot boy?

 Well, I think to better understand the topic and the mythological figure Himself I'll take on the role of God to answer your question.
(in Godly voice) Thou shall smite those that mayeth cause a decline in thoueth's drug distribution lines as long as the punishment is-eth by crucifixion.

 Sweet! I planned to do that anyway. Who knew that I was religious all along? C'mere, Mega Boy! Uncle Druggle wants to introduce you to his leetal friend! Just call him "Mr. PAIN".

 Mega Man will not fall for that again. Ass still mega hurts!

 I'd like to take this time to introduce a special guest of honor on the debate team today. She's a funky little green-haired cutie named Rydia.

 ....... Hi.....

 Hey, baby. Wanna see an octorock..... in my pants?

 Sweet Jeezus, man! She's like only 12!

 What a pervert!

 Christ, Link! Are you on something or are you mentally retarded?

 I... Bad... Thought... Tit... Mistake!!! Uh, I mean, she looks 14! How the hell was I supposed to know?!

 ....... Holy fuck!

 Dude, you're just making it worse. And trust me, you don't want to piss Ms. Rydia off. She's like a summoner. She can do some pretty messed up stuff.

 What? It was only meant as a compliment! I swear! Watch, I'll compliment her again.
*Ahem* So, uh Rydia, seen any good three-way porn lately? I have this fisting video at home that I like to watch while my dog Rush looks at me and-

 Wait. Rush is Mega Man's dog!

(*Translation: "I feel dirty")

 (Crying) Whyyyyyyyyyy!! Why, God!! Whyyyyyyyy!!!!!

 Because thou art a whore. Your canine learned it from watching you. And because you charge too damn much for a hummer. I had to make that money backeth somehow and in selling your dog to Link to satisfy his disturbing needs I earned a cool $15! That be-eth 15 BJs right there! You do the matheth.

 There is no God!

 I'm right here you ass-smelling man-whore!

 It looks like it's up to me again.


 AAAHHH! You Russian cow!! I paid good money for that pooch! I even installed the Swedish Suck 3000 in his head unit! Gyaaaaah!!!!! I hate you people! I hate all of you!!! You probably already ruined my chances with that succulent green haired chick too!!

 (Chanting) Bibliotecca kama sutra mierde mierde taco grandisimo rear-endus biblicus.... I summon you oh great snake of doom to smite the giganticus dickus headus in front of me!!!


 ..................holy fuck.........

(Sounds of bone and muscle being torn apart and devoured)

 I can't watch!!! Druggle, are you video taping this so I can watch it later?

 ...... The horror...... the horrrrrrror....

 Shit, and he'd yet to pay me for the Ass Impaler Super 500 I got him. That's gunna be embarrassing to return.

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This Page is a copyrighted Rossman Production. Though, of course, NONE of the characters are belong to him. They are all the property of the rich and powerful Japanese Yakuza (known as Nintendo Corporation), and neither the Yakuza nor the big N support this page or probably even want it up. The opinions on this page are not necessarily the Rossman's either (and they sure as hell ain't Nintendo's). He did create all of the graphics from memory and scratch and he is using them in a purely "satire-rific" manner, in order to be funny and make people laugh. So LAUGH, damn you!