The Critical message:

RE: Sky Captain

Christ on a crutch! This was the worst bit of cinematic crap since Raiders of the Lost Ark... At least Raiders had some original scripting in it but Sky Captain's writer, Kerry Conran basically plagerized every private eye movie made in the thirties...

Apparently I wasn't the only one who thought the movie sucked big time either...

Budget
$40,000,000 (estimated)
Opening Weekend
$15,580,278 (USA) (19 September 2004) (3,170 Screens)
£628,808 (UK) (3 October 2004) (346 Screens)
707,777 (Italy) (14 November 2004) (276 Screens)
75,664 (Netherlands) (24 October 2004) (50 Screens)
Gross
$37,760,080 (USA) (19 December 2004)

Russ

My Follow up:

Jesus, man, did Kerry Conran rape you as a baby? You seem to have some deep-rooted hatred for the man. I think you need some help. Some psych help. I'm here for you... Tell me about your mother. Is she hot? Do you have pictures of your 18 year old sister in the shower? No, I don't want any of you in there with her, just her solo... Nice and lathered up.

Also, did you just call me a fucking Democrat?! Okay, you can knock my fave movies, dicklick, but don't EVER call me a "liberal"!... Well, unless you catch me trying to get into some big tittied (and stupid) journalism major's pants. Then, tell her I'm a left wing pussy. They really dig that shit.

-the Rossman

(Wow, you also hated the Godfather Part I and II?... But you loved Hairy Pothead?.... So you're like 12 years-old? 11? Just go back to watching all that gay porn you have stashed away in your closet. All that gay porn with digital faggy duckbilled creatures in it)

My right Response:

My heavenly Response (well, my second response seeing as the man known as "Salvherz " blocked my official e-mail address soon after sending me his message and I had to find an alternate route to his in-box):

Talk about being a hypocrite. You send me a very angry letter, religion boy, but then block my email so that you don't have to read my reply? This is why Malcolm dislikes overly-religious dicks like you. You don't practice what you preach. You yell in people's faces, then turn around so you don't have to hear their reply. Below is my original reply before it got bounced back.

--------------------------

Hey, Champ. You obviously have some major issues, so let's go sentence by senten.... Uh, well, since you can't even fix your thoughts up into convenient literate English sentence structures, I'll just disect your letter thought by incomprehensible thought.

> Let me tell your sorry-ass something rossshit/ OH i
> mean rossman,

Your insults need work there, Chopper. I do like how you emphasize the "OH" to let me know that you're being patronizing in refering to me as a "man". Funny, you can't even claim to be the same. Last night after I titty fucked your mother she let me in on the secret that the doctor actually cut your wee little dick off after your birth along with your umbilical cord cause he thought it was a roach crawling between your legs. Tough break, dickless.

> your bunk
> that you put out and I dont mean your ass etheir
> is full of my dogs shit,

I don't get the first part of this "insult", but the second part is right. Well, it is partially right. I do shit out of my ass, unlike you, who talk out of yours.

> including the sorry ass peanut head malcom zit you
> both num-fucks are headed
> to hell ,

"Sorry ass peanut head Malcolm zit"? I fucking HATE that Malcolm in the Middle show! Goddammit! It has so gone to shit in the past few seasons... Waaaaait a minute. Ah, the first clue as to what your letter is really about! You're either refering to Malcolm's review of Planetes (where he hated the show cause no brothahs were represented), or you're talking about Malcolm's views on religion, and his thoughts that only morons who can't think for themselves believe that the Bible is actually true. Holy fucking shit! You actually believe that dinosaur bones are God's way of "testing" mankind, don't you! You also seriously believe that a guy named Noah packed up two of every creature on the planet in one big boat and DIDN'T ass fuck the goats! Awesome!

>SHIT hells too good for scums like you &
> zits oh well they find some
> sorry ass place thats fit for scum. see ya
> ,peace-out BITCH . have a
> nice day

I will, thank you, mostly because I don't believe that an invisible man in the sky is marking down in a book how many times I touch myself in a day, or how many times I think of putting a bullet in the heads of morons like you every year in order to thin the herd (that last one is 1,500,394 times a year, just FYI). Ciao!..... And God bless your virgin ass.

-the Rossman

The Geeky Message:

Hey
Hey I thought your geek article was as usual sad and funny. Hey do u consider yourself a geek. Plus I thought u elaborated the term geek a little too strict.
Well, have a stab at this. Don't you think the Wachowski brothers were very much geeks in their own right, and according to the feature a smart nerd as well. Geeks they may be but they have used their geek abilities to make themselves wealthy, famous and well respected in their own field. They are very happy geeks, indeed.

Raye

My Geeky, but slightly dignified, Response:

No, unfortunately (.....fortunately?) I am not a geek. I am not overweight (though I try), and I have at least one friend who is not imaginary (though he would beg to differ about the "friend" part... Bastard). You could probably count me as a wannabegeek though. Same with the Wachowskis. Sure, geeks can be rich, but their mental capacity is usually limited to living in an imaginary world created by someone else. Geeks (REAL geeks) don't have the ability to make up their own geeky stuff. They live vicariously through others' creations (i.e. cosplayers, fanfic writers, my readers). The Wachowskis created their own universe and characters. That ability would scare real geeks.

-the Rossman.