ONIcon98! Part 3: Reign in Hell (As told by Catsy and her wonderful imagination@_@)

Neow. On Saturday morning I made it a point to get up early 'cause there was going to be a one time only showing of the second Nadesico movie Throne of Souls, and I had to see it. There was no option. I wanted somebody to go with me so I dragged the Rossman's butt down too. It was 6 in the morning (three hours before the start of the movie), but the con people let us into the theater really early so that we wouldn't have to sit on our keisters so long on the hard floor^_^ Do I have to tell you again just how much these ONIcon people rocked?!?!

When they say "Stadium Style Seating" they mean it!
-"Hey! You in the front row! Move your head, I can't read the subtitles!"

  So anyway-tcha, They fit about 8,000 people into the giant theater (I found out that it was the same place that the CosPlay was going to be held later that day) and at 9:00a.m. the lights dimmed.

*SPOILER*

  Nadesico has been a favorite of mine since it first came out on TV in Japan. Soon it will become as big in the States as Ranma and Eva, so I'm enjoying its greatness now before the average (retarded) otaku (remember, that term is not a good thing to be called. Anybody who wants people to call him/her that is a smelly fanboy of the highest calibre) starts professing his/her love for the little dipsh**, Ruri-chan. I was soooooo glad that this movie didn't feature that little Ayanami clone.... but right now I'm veering away. Gomen @_@

  Quick rundown of the 94 minute movie. Akito still hasn't returned to Yurika (my idol^_^) since the end of the first movie. Yurika takes it upon herself to steal the newest Nadesico from Nergal (the Nadesico "T") and she recruits/hijacks her former crew to help her search for him. This all takes place six months after the end of the first movie.
  Soon trouble starts brewing as the Jupiterians experience unrest and a rebellion at the same time as the originators of the Jupiter factories return (we get the feeling that they were on some sort of a vacation and that they never thought anybody would find their civilization in the time that they were gone!). Needless to say, the original Jupitarians are not happy.
  The Nadesico crew helps as best they can to fight the bad Jovians and the invading original Jupitarians, but they do not have enough power or resources, and just as they are about to give up, another Nadesico appears out of a Boson jump right next to them and helps in their fight! Soon even more Nadesico ships show up and it is revealled that Akito has finally come out of hiding and has Teleported tons of Nadesico's from different times and universes to aid the battle. With their combined strength, they totally vaporize the invaders!
  As peace is being made (again) and the different Nadesicos return to their own places, the real Nadesico crew gets a quick tour of the Jupiter Structures (and Yurika and Akito are reunited). Soon the United Earth front shows up with what it thought would be the cavalry to save the day. They were just a little late^_~ Yurika's dad is among those leading the crusade. They reconcile and during the end credits we get to see photos of everybody back on Earth (including some Jupitarians) enjoying life.

*END OF SPOILERS*

We met Chisa after the screening and she asked us what we thought. We told her it was cool but that we were sorry that her character, Ryouko, bit the dust in the climactic battle- Oops! I mean *SPOILER* Gomen-_-

  After we came out of the theater, we discussed the movie and if it was a worthy follow up to the show and the first film. While we both liked it and we both liked the fact that Akito did come back, it was not as good as the original series. I just hope that if they make another movie they make it a point to keep it on or around the Earth. That would give it a stronger sense of urgency to keep the enemy away that this film sadly lacked. Oh well. As we were talking the MegaPlayboy walked up to us asn told us that he just got to see the newest Night Warriors: DarkStalkers dub in the room next door. When we told him what we just saw he got very quiet, drooped his head low and walked away mumbling things to himself. And oh yeah, we were laughing at him too, and soon everybody joined in for one reason or another^_^ It was fun!

The Playboy after he realized that he just wasted an hour of his life watching crappola when he could have been a contender.

  After we caught our breath (we laughed a lot!) we hot footed it over to the auditorium that was showing Perfect Blue. That was a cool movie! I couldn't tell what the f*** was going on half the time and you know me, I'm usually right on top of things^_^ While the ending should have been a little darker given what had just happened to that poor ex-Chammer girl for the first 90 minutes, it appeared that she finally did make it to the big time. That's my dream too, but I usually end up as the sick psycho behind the computer. Ain't fame a bitch? Ya win some ya lose some I guess.

  We were hungry (really hungry) by that time, so we hunted down the rest of the UGAnime crew and had our own little Gathering of Immortals. We put our heads together to come up with a place to eat when Mulder insisted that he knew a great place that we would all enjoy.... Big mistake. We followed him like the little lemmings that we are and soon found ourselves in the middle of-

The Red Light District!

  Note to self: Never eat in a place with topless waitresses again... They were all old and icky too :( Oh well, if this is the price we must pay to keep "H" stuff out of our club's regular broadcast meetings, then so be it.

  After I finished up my "Titty Tuna" sandwich up and the Rossman was done with his "Footlong and Then Some" we ditched the rest of the bums and I dragged his carcass back to the con kicking and screaming. What a baby! I even got Flipsy Mipsy's autograph for him too! Men.
  We got back just in time for the Osamu Tezuka panel. For all you total ignoramusses out there (and I know that there are a TON), he's the creator of such masterpieces as Kimba the White Lion and Tetsuwan Atom (or Astroboy)! He was the one who made anime what it is today. Without him there would not be anything on this page for you to be reading!!!

If he's the "Japanese Disney", then how come Disney ripped him off? *Cough* Simba *Cough!*

  What was really sad was that only 12 people showed up for this unbelievable once in a lifetime event! And 5 of them thought it was the Furukawa Toshio panel (One guy was even there to meet Kamiya-san... little did he know...). I was sorely disappointed with everybody! I had a feeling that the American Anime Fandom was dumb, but this was ridiculous!!! Only 6 people intentionally showed up to greet this god-among men. The entire convention should have come to a hault in order for everybody to pay their respects Godfather-style! BAKA!! MINA BAKA!!!! Well, the six of us kept him there for a while by asking him very detailed questions about his life and works. He was very generous^_^
  He then left us with some words of wisdom: "All life is precious. pay attention to every small detail and do everything out of love"..... Tcha! What-ever! I then ran out of the theater and kicked a fanboy in the love sack just for fun @_-

  Neow. The Rossman and I watched the fat kid grab his crotch and weeze in pain for a bit (I never get tired of that ^_^) before going back to the dealers' room. We were still impressed with it. Trust me, size does matter. I ran around and bought $250.19 worth of cool LDs and UFO Catcher Dolls (had to get that Felicia one-tcha!). Then we went to check out Steve Bennis' cell painting class for the 7th time this year (gotta catch 'em all!).
  It started out okay (I was painting in Giant Robo punching right through the Eva Unit 00 and the Rossman was painting in a cell from Twin Dolls), but about ten minutes into the class somebody started to scream and shreik like they were having recently sharpened claws ripping out their spine (trust me, I know that sound). It turned out to be Steve himself! He mustuv' cracked, what with smelling those paint fumes 24-7. He was grabbing his head in pain while he proceeded to stab people with paintbrushes and squirt paint all over the room like a perverted Dali (redundant?). I think he finally took out around 25 attendees before two fellow cat girls decided to stop the literal madness. I doubt that Stevie-boy would be able to walk for a week.

They must have seen me give it to that tubby otaku in the hall just prior to the painting class, 'cause they did an excellent reinactment! They did me proud.

  We then left before the ConPigs showed up and beat the crap out of anybody they felt like sticking it to. As we walked (fast) away, the Rossman ran into a longtime con buddy of his! He's seen this guy at every single con he's ever gone to in the past 7 years! His friend, Joey, seemed to be feeling a bit down. So the Rossman sat down with him and listened to his problems before offering him some relationship advice. What a sweetie-tcha^_^

-"Hmmmm. You see, Joey, that's your problem! When it's over, it's over. You jus' have to learn to let go of da pain. Don' even hold on to the memories.... And always remember to throw the body into a vat of strong acid. Now I mean really strong acid! Other wise da pigs always have a lead."
-"I've been such a foo'! Thanks Rossman^_^... By the way, can I borrow some of your necklaces? I want to feel 'pretty'."

  After we left Joey with his frown turned upside down, we hurried to the Takahashi Rumiko panel. Even though it was about to begin, Chujo, Mulder and the Playboy saved us some seats. Takahashi-sensei is the world's greatest artist and storyteller by far! And for all you really total idiotic baka-heads, she drew the manga of Urusei Yatsura, the Mermaid Saga, Maison Ikkoku, Inu Yasha and Ranma 1/2! She had nothing to do with the abysmal Ranma animation!!!! That stuff sucked/sucks! Her manga are so damn original and fun to read that..... Ooooooh, that explains it! One must be able to read the manga to appreciate her. I forgot that you illiterate monkeys can't read. You have to buy the mentally challenged dubs of stuff (totally destroyed for any cultural reference because you cerebral fleas wouldn't understand what an "ONI" was!!!!!!!)! Aaaaaaaarrrrrgggghhhhh! Migraine- pain- need.... Tylenol..... Better. Okay. I'm okay now.

It turned out that Takahashi-sensei didn't know what the hell and "ogre" was.

  Takahashi-sensei told us how much she appreciated our continued support of her work and that she was very happy to be able to keep drawing and writing stories that we enjoyed^_^ She went on to tell us all about her new manga which was in the works. It was all about this school girl chick who travels back in time to ancient China with her best friend. They encounter a bunch of cool superhuman hunks who try to help them get back home, but it turns out that the chick's friend is stupid and falls in with a group of evil super-hunks. They have a lot of kooky misadventures and a lotta love through out the storyline of this mysterious play that they are forced to enact! She couldn't think of a catchy title for it yet, but it still sounded pretty cool! And if anybody can make it work, it's Rumiko Takahashi-san!

  After that great panel, the UGAnime gang went over to a smaller theater to see the two GekiGanger III movies. I can't remember their titles, but they were sugoi!! The first one was like Evangelion: Death in that it was just a quick rundown of the television series (all 39 episodes). It was fun^_^ Everybody in the entire audience would yell out "JOOOOOOE!" or "KEEEEEEEN!" or even "AQUAMARIIIIIINE!" along with the characters on the screen (I was doing that for days afterwards!). Then we saw the brand new GekiGanger movie (I loved the opening song!) which was just recently completed by using footage that was started over thirty years ago! They did a mind and load blowing job. I loved the story and the animation style is just classic! The teamup with the GekiGang and that transvestite prince guy (no, not the "artist formerly known as") against the even greater enemy was done to perfection. *Sniff* JOOOOOOOOOE! Gomen^_~

"You're just so sweet I could just eat you up!"

  We got out of the theater, quoting GekiGanger attacks the whole while, and noticed that a bunch of people were walking around in costume... More so than usual, we determined. It then hit us that the CosPlay was about to start and we forgot to leave somebody in line to hold places for us!!!! Urgh! We found the line and ran to the end of it to see how far back it was. We were told that the line was already over the 8,000 limit to the main auditorium and that the rest of us would have to sit in the video fed room. Now that was just not kosher with any of us. So we got into a UGAnime-huddle and came up with a plan. Then we realized that the Playboy came up with the plan so we came up with another. That one seemed good, so we broke and set in in motion.

First came the Chief's turn.

  Chujo was the first to attempt to infiltrate the CosPlay. He got all dressed up in a really dumb looking "Chinese Laundromat Owner" costume and claimed he was a CosPlayer in the contest and that he was one of Xian Pu's relatives.... Needless to say they didn't buy it. They chuckled and said, "Nice try Mr. Chujo" as they pushed him away.

Then it was the Rossman's turn.

  After he saw that the Chief had not succeeded, the Rossman tried to make the conpeople "see things his way". They just thought that he was a lamer casual costumer with a water gun. One of them even thought he was Fujiko! Even after he shot a couple of the Door Guards they refused to let him in. This was not looking good for Team UGAnime.

Oh the humanity!!!!
-"Oh my God!! His pits REEK!"

  Then the Rossman threw a hissy fit and beat the crap out of some of the congoers and workers to let off some steam. After he calmed down he tried one more tactic.....

He held his breath.

  The Door Guards just laughed at him after he passed out and hit the floor hard like Godai into a lamppost. It looked like we had failed. We wouldn't be able to see the CosPlay after all save for the video fed theater (which was not an option). Just as we resigned ourselves to defeat, Mulder got a call on his pocket phone. He answered with a questioning "Hello?" (He never gives out the number to that damn thing [which makes me wonder why he even carries it around with him it in the first place]), but it turned out to be the MegaPlayboy, who had actually tunneled his way to the backstage of the CosPlay with a spoon while nobody was looking. We didn't even know he was gone!

After he called us and told us where the tunnel he had dug started (the second floor women's restroom, 8th stall), he ordered a pizza from Papa John's (no anchovies dammit!).

  After we had all climbed out of the hole and laughed about our previous attempts to get in, we inadvertantly walked through the wrong curtains as we found ourselves on stage in front of 8,000 screaming anime fans who thought that we were the first skit of the night, a Fist of the North Star reinactment of the death of Shin. After the Chief punched a fist-sized hole in the chest of the emcee we took our seat (first row @_@) as the crowd cheered us on.

The MegaPlayboy got the audience started in a huge "Macarena" ensemble. It was scary.

  We sat down and awaited the rest of the performers. What a show it turned out to be-tcha!

  

  

Seek salvation! Return to the previous Day!			Go forward into the next Oni-rific Day.

Go back to the beginning of the Traditional Expo.

  Anyhow, after you're done with this page you can check out the UGAnime DEAD Ultimate Homepage, the Oni-chan Does L.A. and AX Page, the Catsy and Oni-chan's Wild Ride To, At and From Animazement 98 Page or the Fushigi Shin Seiki Expo 98: Catsy and Oni-chan Go To WAR!