ONIcon98! Part 2: Show of Evil (As told by Catsy and her wonderful imagination@_@)

Neow. Early in the Godforsaken morning, some idiot whom we didn't even know (I think he just crawled into our room drunk last night) opened the curtains and drenched our once darkened and peaceful sleeping quarters in pure, evil daylight. It was waaaaaay too early for undialated eyes and everybody else in the room blindly threw pillows and shoes at the guy until he shut them again. It was only after we all woke up about an hour later (around nine in the morning) that we realized that it was really the ONIcon special guest, Akira Kamiya that had too much hard, heavy liquor at the bar and stumbled into our room late last night instead of his mistress'. We then felt really bad that we continued to beat him even after he closed the curtains... especially 'cause we beat him to death.

Rest in peace, Kamiya-san. You shall be missed..... Well, anybody up for some strip poker? Trust me, he would have wanted it that way.

  Anyway, after we dumped his cold, lifeless body down the garbage chute we all went downstairs to get in line for registration. It didn't open until 10:00AM but we didn't have much else to do anyway. We sent the Rossman and the two other chicks out for some chow from a Micky D's across the street from the hotel as the rest of us waited impatiently for sustenence and wondered just how cool the con was going to be.

Try to find all the sexual harassment lawsuits that are beginning during this picture^_^

  Neow. About 20 minutes after the food arrived and was devoured the registration began. These ONIcon guys truly know what they are doing! They gave the fans exactly what they wanted from the very beginning! Each individual membership badge was hand drawn by one of the guests of honor (depending on which counter one got up to) specifically for you! That was soooooo cool! I got Shampoo drawn on my tag by Takahashi-sensei (I even got to watch as she drew it, and then I got to shake her hand afterwards @_@)!!! It was unbelievably cool! The Rossman got Mikimoto-sensei to draw the Gunbuster cast for his badge-tcha.

Mikimoto-sensei spent about 25 minutes drawing and then coloring in the Rossman's badge! It was worth the wait!

  After everybody got their membership kits we looked through our schedules to see what was going on for that day. There was going to be a Giant Robo marathon that started with episode one and ended with the newly completed (and not even officially released in Japan) Episode 8! That was a must! The losers of the group who thought that GR blew (Those mental baboons!) decided to waste their time checking out stuff like Shin Nurse Angel Rurika S.S.O.S.S. and the new Ranma dubs. Uuuuurrrgh!... Simpletons.

  The GR marathon didn't start till later though, so the Rossman and I thought we'd check out the dealer's room.... or should I say "dealer's colosium". It was a sight to behold and I feel that my eyes were too unworthy. That didn't stop me from buying everything I could possibly find having to do with Nadesico, Monononononoke Hime, Eva, and Astroboy though^_^ Thank God I stole Takahashi's wallet when she gave me my badge! She's loaded!!! (It took some time to convince the dealers to accept the ¥en instead of 'merican cash, but they eventually did and all I had to do was unsheath the "Sword of Doom"... never leave home without one^_~).

The dealer's room was a con-goer and peddler's dream come true! Everything you could possibly want was there!! Even Bandai's life-size Gundam heads sold out within the first 10 minutes!

  We hung around the buyers' paradise for a long time before we decided to check out some of the programming. We wandered up to the fifth floor and were just in time for the Haruhiko Mikimoto Panel to begin^_^ Sugoi!
  Neow. This was a cool panel! Mikimoto-san came running down the center aisle after he had been introduced while the main lights were turned off and a bunch of strobes were flashing all over the place! The guy was having as much (if not more) fun as we were @_@
  As soon as he caught his breath (he had to run past 4,000 fans! It was like a football field!) he began by telling us that he almost didn't make it to the convention due to his work on Macross: the 22nd Century running behind its schedule. But he assured us that it would be completed in time for its debut early next year! Kick ass! He then hinted and alluded to every fan boy's wet dream that "an idol singer above all idol singers" might make her exciting and unbelievable re-debut in the early episodes of the 52 part television show *^_^* Yaaaaaattaaaah! I just hope that Basara doesn't show up and start singing for peace again. What the hell was up wid dat anyway?

Mikimoto slinks away in disgrace after somebody in the crowd called him an idiot for allowing such a moronic character as Basara to have ever been created in the first place. He agreed and accepted his shame as he was heard muttering to himself "What evir have I brought upon dis woyrd?!?! What have I done?!?!". What indeed.

  After the panel the Rossman and I met up with Chujo and the MegaPlayboy. Even though it was still a little early, we decided to get some lunch so that we wouldn't have to leave during the middle of the Giant Robo marathon that began in just a bit. We ran down to a nice little deli a few blocks away and we each got some muy oishii sandwiches (I got everyone's pickle too:p). We kept wondering what the rest of the con would be like (especially the CosPlay and the music video contest!). But we knew that they would be beyond belief... Beyond fact or fiction even if Jonathan Frakes showed up!

  After a quick (and forced) digestion we ran back to the hotel and into the theater for the GR show. We got 40th row, center aisle which turned out to be perfect! The screen was as big as a full size movie theater (although I had hoped for an IMAX production)! It was a packed house with something like 1,500 people crammed in and it was a hell of a show@_@

Giant Robo Episode VIII: The Tower of Babel!

  WOW! It was sooooo cool to see the entire series in subtitles with so many people! It was the Playboy's first time, so it was even cool to see his reactions to everybody's fates and to laugh at him when he got confused in the storyline^o^. Then came episode 7. For most of the crowd it was the first time that they had witnessed this masterpiece and boy were they awed! Without spoiling anything, let me just state that Alberto is da man! The Impactor has/had it going on!! And I just love that hair! Then there was a lot more crying from Go-sensei and I can't forget the now famous Koshin-Daisaku *SLAP!*. It was priceless!
  After the final credits rolled for GR 7 nobody even stirred in their seats. It took a few moments to switch the tapes and the projectionist made it a point to tell us that Episode VIII wasn't even due out in Japan for another month and that the only reason they had it to show was because Imagawa-sensei (the director) felt so bad that his schedule closed at the last possible moment and he wasn't able to make it to the con. The subtitling group "Tomobiki Town" had only just got the fansubbing of it done about four hours before. That was cutting it awefully close if you ask this kitty-tcha.

  Anyway, the final episode rolled and the audience held its breath.

*SPOILERS*

Click Here If You Want To See What Happened in GR Episode 8: the Tower of Babel

*SPOILERS OVER*

  Anyway, the final episode proved to everybody that Imagawa-sensei is a genius story teller. This short synopses can not possibly share with you just how emotional and powerful the last chapter in the Giant Robo story was/is. I can't wait for Manga to release it in the States (probably in around 4-5 more years I'm guessing) so that I can discuss the subtleties of the entire story with all the world's fanboys and try to decipher the hidden message that is definitely embedded somewhere deep within the delicate contexts of Big Fire's actual purpose and meaning..... or maybe those kooky animators just liked big explosions. I'm no Freud.

  After the applause died down everybody started to talk excitedly about the series as a whole and what the final episode meant to them... This is when trouble started brewing. The Bossman (Chujo) was talking to some Schlong about how the supposed resurrection of many of the characters in GR whom we were led to believe were dead led the casual viewer to believe that the director had some basic Christian beliefs or in the very least appreciated the stories of Faith and credence from the Bible enough to incorporate it into his work.... Well, at least the Chief was talking about this, the Schlong just wanted to discuss Ginrei's bra size and how horny he was. Weeeeeellllllllll, the Chief takes Robo to heart (and I think he has a crush on Ginrei too) and he didn't like that tubby boy's point of view. Let's just say that the Bossman throws a mean "Guuuuuuuuuuuunn Buuuuuuussssteeeerrrrr Puuuuuuuuuunch!".
  Soon a mega-baka fight broke out and the ConPolice were called in.

-"You got a problem there, 'Chujo' is it?"
-"Yeah Mister Poh-leese, I do. You seem to bathe less than the average otaku. Mind if I crack open a window?"

  After everything settled down, the Chief calmly explained to the ConPig the conversation he was having with the Schlong and how the Schlong dissed Ginrei. The Pig looked pissed, and he even took out his nightstick (in the shape of the Yamato ^_^), but then he quickly turned around and started Rodney Kinging the s*** outta the imature nevergunnagetany Schlong-boy. We quietly tiptoed out of the theater when the rest of the ConPolice Force showed up and joined in while chanting "Baka Schlong! Baka Schlong!!!!"

  The Rossman and I then ran up to the room to catch some Urusei Yatsura on the in-room programming (mostly to hide from more Schlongs and ConPigs). They were already up to episode 34 when we turned it on, and we watched until episode 48 (It was kinda like Lum recharged us ^o^). Then we went down to the third floor for the Chisa panel. I just had to meet Sasami in person! When we got down to the auditorium we were a little early and we had to wait for the special screening of the unedited Japanese Pokemon to clear out. After the paramedics and doctors got all of the stretchers out of the place we filed in (*Uuuugggh!* I had no idea that seizures and epileptic fits caused people to puke so much! The stench was horrible!).
  Then Chisa bounced onto the stage. She was bubbly^_^ She talked all about her work on Tenchi and how her singing career was really taking off now too. Then she shared some really brandy new information with us that nobody was expecting! She was going to star in the live action Shin La Blue Girl movie! Sugoi! I bet that Yokoyama-san can squirm and jiggle in ecstacy/pain with the best of them@_@

-"I very much rike Onicon. America have so many cheese product, it unbereivable!"

  After a bunch of fan questions, regarding things like who her fave character was for a voice that she did (Junpei, in Gekiganger III) and if she'd ever consider marrying a fat and ever so smelly fanboy even if she was tortured 24-7 until she agreed (to that was a big "Iye"), she actually put on a stage performance for us! She was incredible as she sang a bunch of Pretty Sami songs and finished the whole production up with the closing song to her upcoming LBG movie (the title of the song being unprintable). Everybody cheered as she took a bow and waved as the curtains closed. Wow! Now I love Sasami even more!^_^
  Then we went to the video game room. The game room was set up like a full sized arcade (complete with overhead screens so spectators could view the computerized action). They had the new 3D Gundam Battler, Tekken 3, a bunch of 3 Dimensional Psychic Fighting games (can't remember their names for the life of me), Tekken 3, Bust a Groove, a lot of Puzzle games featuring Tenchi and others with the Capcom characters, Tekken 3 and the coolest 1st person space shooter I've ever played! In it you could choose various mecha from Macross, Nadesico, Gundam and Mazinger Z and fly around either blasting other players (around such obstacles as the SDF Macross, Mars or a Side or two) or take on the mission scenario and take your aggresions out on some battle pods or those pesky Jovian Lizards and their Giant Tulips. It was the most rugged and anti-zipped game I have ever played! I just pray that a US company picks up its rights (Puuuuh-leeeeeeez!).

Everybody was shooting and kicking and punching away for a grand ole time in the ONIcon arcade. And if they actually fought brave enough they may have gotten a chance to play a game or two.

  While I was beating the snot outta some tiny teenage pimple in a Darkstalkers Puzzler game I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned around to find the Kid standing there! I was caught completely off guard (well for one thing, I first thought it was Chewbacca, and for another thing I did not expect him to have found out about this little con himself)!

The Kid in all his glory (See! He does look like a wookie!).

  It turns out that it wasn't a costume, just that the hairy little bastard let his mane grow out (of control) again! He was having a good time at the con himself, but right now he was busing trying to lose a bunch of people. He told me that a bunch of on-line freinds that he knew on the net met him at the con, but they weren't at all how he expected them to look. They were actually actractive young females and that hairy lil' Kid didn't know what to do with them! I was disgusted with this news and so was the Rossman who had heard the whole thing too. We both looked at eachother and nodded in unison, the Immortal One grabbed the Kid in a big bear hug to restrain him and I started screaming at the top of my lungs, "Hey everybody! If anybody here is looking for the Riders Kid, we got 'im right here-tcha!" At which point an army of cute teenaged chicks (about twenty of them!) charged into the room and dragged the screaming ex-KGB agent out of our sight. We haven't seen him since.

As we walked out of the ONIcon Arcade we found ourselves looking up at a bunch of "Anti-Henti" activists on the floor above us. To protest their message that all Hentai was evil, they refused to wear any underwear for fear of any panty shot.

  Neow. After the arcade, we made it a point to check out the Karaoki Contest. We thought that we might even give it a chance because there was a prize of $350 to the first place winner!.... and the fact that Ashallow Smile wasn't invited ^_~
  The first few singers were actually pretty good, but just before it was going to be our turn (the Rossman and I were gunna sing "Komm Susser Todd" in a duet!) some freaky b**** jumped onto the stage, grabbed the microphone from the girl who was still singing and began to belt out (more like belch out) her own horrible song! It was worse than hearing nails on a chalk board! It was like she was actually singing feedback!! Ugh! We ran out of there as fast as we could in a blind panic with the rest of the audience (most of whom had blood trickling out of their ears). As soon as the chaos cleared and the ConPolice arrived to beat the crappola out of the peroxide dyed bimbo still trying to sing on the deserted stage I realized that I had lost the Rossman!

The freaky chick shoved the microphone back into the real contestant's face and demanded that she "SING! Sing like your life depends on it... Cause it just might!"

  I then began my search. I needed to find the Immortal One so that I could get his room key so that I could retrieve my CD player and listen to some real music to erase the horror that I had allowed my sensitive ear drums to endure! Plus I wanted to get some of my Watermelon Pocky sticks I had stored away in my suitcase. I was up on the 7th floor (right outside of the con mega-hospitality suite) when I happened to look over the railing (the center of the hotel was open from the very top to the lowest bottom). There, in line for the Hideaki Anno signing were the Rossman and the MegaPlayboy!

-"Hey, Playboy. Taunt her to jump. She just might."
-"Yeah, but what if she survives! Then she'd be really pissed and eat our livers."

  I took the stairs (all 14 elevators were packed and stopping on every floor) 6 at a time as I raced to catch up with the Double Baka-team, but I was too late. They had already gotten their autographs and apparently Anno hates cats as he had the security push me away! Meanie! Anyway, I found out later that he signed both of their Eva books "By more ShinSeiki Evangelion stuff... Now f*** off!" The man is a genius!
  After just a little more searching I found the two of them in the main hotel kitchen torturing a clerk because their "sandwiches had Miracle Whip and not mayo on them!"..... or something. I couldn't really tell what they were mumbling, but I knew that the horrible screechings from the karaoki room had caused mild (to horribly irriversable) insanity..... Then I found out that it really was because the hotel clerk had given them Miracle Whip instead of mayo. Damn they're testy-tcha!

-"I pity da foo' who makes me eat that tangy zip!"
-"Hello? Ah, yes, sandwich police? I have a crime to report!"

  Neow. After that lil' incident we found ourselves in line for the new fansub of Kenji's Spring. It was the world premiere of it and we were pretty excited (I had heard that it had cats in it, so it had to be good ^_^)! But just as the tape started rolling, some weirdo ran up to the screen and cut it down the middle with his own finger nails! He was screaming "Mine! It's mine! You can't show this!! I'll sue!! I'll sue you all! It's MINE!" the whole time while somebody else (it seemed like he was a friend of his, but like this psycho would have any friends@_@) kept saying to him "Stewart, calm down. Take your medication now." But then the Stew-boy produced a megaton hammer (from subspace?) and ran up to the film projector with insanity blazing in his eyes! We left, but we could still hear the sounds of metal and glass being pulverized for a while before the ConPolice showed up again and "calmed him down".

Here are a couple of chicks already in costume. They did a pretty good job, don't you think? Although I would have gone with less blush.

  We then decided that we had experienced a full day and we all and we went up to the room to retire. Once we opened the door, though, we found ourselves in another predicament. Mulder thought that he might get lucky if he invited a bunch of chicks he just met up to the room for a party and soon it ballooned into an all out rage. We joined for a while (I like to jump up and down a lot anyway^_^), but then the Chief, the Playboy, the Rossman and myself found ourselves in a corner with the TV watching some subtitled Yamato. Soon the party dispbanded and we all went to sleep with visions of flying battleships dancing in our heads (Oh yeah, Mulder never got any anyways. It seems those chicks were really whores from Lil' Tokyo and not fancy CosPlayers and he didn't have enough cash. Oh well. At least it was funny to watch them tie him up and steal all of his clothes^_^).

The MegaPlayBoy in a happy/wasted state late Friday night.

  

  

Seek salvation! Return to the previous Day!			Go forward into the next Oni-rific Day.

Go back to the beginning of the Traditional Expo.

  Anyhow, after you're done with this page you can check out the UGAnime DEAD Ultimate Homepage, the Oni-chan Does L.A. and AX Page, the Catsy and Oni-chan's Wild Ride To, At and From Animazement 98 Page or the Fushigi Shin Seiki Expo 98: Catsy and Oni-chan Go To WAR!

  Neow. Also, a special thanks to everybody who answered my request for ONIcon pics! As stated before (and here again^_~), a whole lot of the pictures are from other generous people-tcha! Arrigatou mina-san!!