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EVENT COLLECTION 6: Events 21 - 23 "Goal In Sight!"

Characters' names in BOLD are those that appear for the first time. Go to the Characters Page to read more about them.

Event 21 ("Countdown [Micro-Cosmos]")

It turns out the the Warp Hole is unstable and about to go flip-flop into a blackhole! Hot Damn dies while trying to do something to close it before something else bad happens (Something about "midimitoclorians" that only she has in her blood that gave her the force powerful enough to permanently shut it down without losing the pod race or something like that.... This made no sense seeing as these midi things were never mentioned before -_-).

I can't believe they let this hot momma die so lamely! This was just so incredibly pointless! Who do they think she is, Parsyte Eve?! Arrrrgh!!!

After that, a Cease-fire is called in order to allow troops to return to their own side (in an attempt by Grand Admiral Fox to lead to peaceful negociations). All is quiet for a while as all sides assess their losses (from the battle a week ago to the men they lost in the time dilation).

Meanwhile, aboard the Jovian AbuCabu, their is a gratuitous H-Girl shower scene that lasts for a good nine minutes !_!. All the while watching through a hole in the bathroom wall is Ko. He begins to think that maybe his beliefs are a little strong and he possibly could learn to be a bit more understanding to other people's shortcomings and sinfulness. Maybe ;).

Also on the AbuCabu is Dildau. Dildau is ranting and raving madly in front of MASTER about really wimpy things that bother him/her/it. MASTER is trying to understand why one of his finest pilots is such a loony, and when he comes right out and asks, Dildau replies with a loooong sob story. It turns out that Dildau's uncle abused him/her/it when he/she/it was a child by making him/her/it watch a horrendously crappy animated show called Gekigangah Ten 24 - 7 without even a break for Pocky! But MASTER stops Dildau short and informs him/her/it that not only was there never a show by that name (wasn't allowed to have evil/satanic animation on the initial New Heaven's Gaters' Earth Departure Flight), but Dildau never had an uncle. This causes Dildau to flip out of his/her/its proverbial gourd! He/She/It runs down to the hangar and blasts off in his/her/its personal mecha at full speed into the darkness of space. MASTER just makes circles around his head with his finger as he says "What a f*ckin' weird-o".

Azzkicker Prime thinks that this quiet time is the perfect opportunity to try and talk peace with the Angels and the Oni. So first he dresses up like a Mari Model 5 and infiltrates the Jovian flagship to try and get them to listen to reason. Unfortunately, he by-mistakenly walks in on Achtung!! as he's trying to kill him self with a laser sword and some light guns. Let's just say that the Matrix dies with the big lug -_-.

And inside OniCon, Ifiriri is trying to play matchmaker between a scorned Princess Rum and a bitter Kibbles (typical). But this time, it goes on for too long and the lovers' stubborness causes Ifiriri to short circuit (which Rum and Kibs don't even notice as they both continue shouting from closed doors at eachother kinda like David and Maddie in Moonlighting). Soon her auto repair kicks back in and she has all her memories back of her time with Cowboy Mike when she was an Angel. Without a second thought she jumps ship and goes home :). Aaaaawwwwwwwe, finally, something kinda happy friggin' happens!

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Event 22 ("Love, Do You Remember?")

The latest cease-fire agreement is over and there's another large space battle going on. Norika, once again, cries and can't fight. During this battle though, the AbuCabu is hit and in the destruction one of the Mari Model 5s is blown up. This causes the rest of them to realize their own mortality and they all become self aware and start contemplating the meaning of life in yoga fashion!!

Soon the Angel's God Machine starts to glow all weird like, and it begins to approach Earth's orbit due to Meiko's sinister plotting (he wants to ram the Earth out of its orbit just to see if he can get that thing to happen like in that Anime Expo '95 opening animation with the planets all getting knocked into the sun and blowing up the whole solar system ^_^. He thinks it'd be cool)! The Oni and the ESDF team up (again) to try and stop it, but even with the God Machine's power at minimum efficiency they are repelled like mosquitons, er, mosquitoes.

There it is in the distance! The Kami-Killah! It looks like my uncle's glass eye.... kinda.

What can I say? This is pretty cool!

As all this death and dismay is going on, the huge tiff between Princess Rum and Kibbles continues at full force too. She thinks that he's got ecchi pics of the H-Girls that he's been hiding from her (or something) and he refuses to let her see. In the end it's resolved when she busts into his locker and finds that he's just been keeping a bunch of perverted pictures of her in there :). Whatta sweetie, neh?

Anyway, while Jingy is busy on the bridge of the OniCon trying to destroy or push back the Kami-Killah, Emperor Bulbaus barges in again, drunk (again) and demands to know what Jingy did to his wife! Jingy goes all wide-eyed (seems that Bulbaus just found out that Jingy and Queen Mother Squittle used to be hot lovers [wellll, before Bulbaus met her]). The Emperor is pissed and demands a duel. Jingy tries to oblige, while still commanding the fleet, when the ship is hit hard and Jingy saves the Emperor's life (while getting crushed by his enormous weight in the process)! Bulbaus is now in tears as he begs for Jingy's forgiveness. Jingy looks dead.

Inside the AbuCabu, MASTER and Dr. Marumisu come barging into the God Machine control room and try to get the now deranged Meiko to stop the stupid attack on the Earth with their most prized weapon (and in such a silly fashion). He sticks out his tongue and pulls down an eyelid while going "Neeeeee!" at the two of them. They're furious, but before they can act, Cowboy Mike (with Ifiriri on his arm;) shoots the Strategizeer between the eyes and continues down the hallway while talking sexy things to his android. The attack on Earth is thwarted, but heavy losses on all sides are the result (oh yeah, Kenny dies again, and the Mari Model 5s all commit seppuku when they realize that mechanical life is pointless without lubricant [well, this was a failsafe chip that Mari put in them to keep them from thinking too much about things other than combing her hair and playing dollies]).

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Event 23 ("Pineapple Salad [Burst Point]")

Yurethra and Tyler confront Dr. Freshnesu about the whole "Scion Human Keys" issue with Fukuku, Brian and a bunch of scientists and others who were just passing by listening in. She admits that yes, Zero and Lei-Lei are not the Scion Keys. A shocked Yurethra and Tyler look at the two albino young-uns (who both shake their heads in disgust) and then at eachother. Tyler then seems to understand as he exclaims, "Holy $#*%! You mean the chick who's panties I've been trying to slip into all this time is my clone!!" Everyone is happy that he's finally caught on (since they've apparently all figured it out a while ago). But Dr. Freshnesu corrects him, "Nope, Yurethra's the original, YOU are her clone." Then everybody *gasps!* again.

Dr. Freshnesu goes on to explain that the reason that tapping God Energy (for the purpose of universal harmony and the ULTIMATE [theorized] Rocky Road) through the cloning techniques wasn't working was because (as she's stated before) first of all, fresh DNA from newborns had to be used. But even then, although these clones were stable and would not break down or go nutso on them, they still could not be used to harvest or control any God Energy with their genetic structures. Therefore, it was Dr. Marumisu who theorized that both an X and Y chromosome were needed within the clones to split and share enough power between them. After that, Tyler and Yurethra look at eachother skeptically and they each take a step away from the other while thinking about all the hanky panky they participated in together. But just then, the attack sirens go off and everybody runs to their stations.

During the huge space battle that follows between the Oni and the ESDF, Zero sneaks into a spare Disposable GunDAMN unit and jumps into the fight. It is then that she sees Mr. Piggy's attack ship gunning right for Guy!! She yells at him over the radio to look out and he replies that he sees the pig and has a track on him. He tells her to back off so that he can get a clean shot at the Oni's space plane, but Zero (still thinking that he's in mortal danger) pushes his mecha out of the way and waits for a good number of seconds for Mr. Piggy to come close enough (but when he veers away and flies towards where Guy had moved to she follows him) and self destructs herself!! Guy just shrugs and says "Eh, whatever blows your top" and jumps back into the pitched battle.

The newly rebuilt Yamacsico in action.

Soon the Oni are repelled and Zero is the only casualty. Lei-Lei seems saddened, but you really can't tell with that unemotional little *#%@*#.

Back in the Oni camp, Buddy gives Mr. Piggy a fish head for bravery in battle, and he eats it.

Back in the Yamacsico, Ms. Blotto, Fox and Irene all sit down and discuss the whole Count thang over massive alcohol consumption. Each gets royally fitshaced, but a better understanding of eachother is finally reached.

And finally, F-Ah-U's damaged spy ship (from way back when) is finally rescued!.... But unfortunately it's by Vegas! Captain Vegas tortures the living piss out of the yellow rat and gets tons of valuable information about the Oni's capabilities and their Ultimate Weapon! Then he kills the annoying vermin with his bare hands!

And back when Dr. Freshnesu is explaining the genetic traits of the Scion Keys, Ushiko and Umao appear in some strands of DNA... Oh, and there was another Battle of the Bands in which nobody even showed up for.

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