Issue #26: The Housing Market Collapse: Caused by Bank or Borrower?

So, is Jennifer Love Hewitt really fat? I mean, you can't see her backbone through her stomach, true, and I think she could stand to lose a few... I guess what I'm trying to say is that I only charge $850 per cup of lard that I remove from my patients asses and thighs. Call me, Jen!
I dunno, Doc. I think I prefer a little meat on the bones of the babes I'd bone if I ever got the chance. You know, a little cushion for the pushin'. A little junk in the badonka-dunk trunk. Some juicy for a goosey.
.............Goddamn chubby-chaser. Ugh, you make me puke!
Nah, I'm with you, Doc. What, for example, would you and could you do for our horse whisperer, Ms. Hewitt? There's gotta be at least 80 pounds of pure fat in those thunder thighs. Just look at that picture!
Oh my eyes! I'm fucking blind! I think the Earth is actually attracted to HER mass! She so fat that when she goes outside in a red dress everybody yells, "HEY, KOOL-AID!" She so fat that when you get to the top of her your ears pop! She so--
Yeah, um, so anyway, to show you what I'd do to ol' Fatass McHewitt I'll show you what I did to the Princess after drugging her drink last night. You all remember what that fat fuck USED to look like, right?...
Ugh! So fat!
Well, now here's the NEW and IMPROVED Princess! Recently lipoed! Yaaaaay!
.........................................
......Oh.... My...... GAWD! I just came.
S-s-s-sssoooooo c-cold and h-hu-hungry.... Doctorrrrr..... I need to eat some... Something. Or, please, at least some w-w-water...
Doc, don't you dare! Don't you fucking DARE feed that most perfect of creatures even one crumb of anything! She'll balloon like the Hindenburg. Seen it happen before. One bite of something then there's people running in fear, fire, and oh the humanity!
Hey, is it kosher if her hair is turning prematurely grey and falling out? Look... *Yank!* A whole fistful just came out!
Pleassssse... God, help me.... I.... I'm fading....
Oh baby! Just look at that concave ass! And that glorious chest! Oh, breasts like a 13 year-old boy! Those sunken eyes and cheeks... Doc, how much for an hour with her?
Oh, I'm afraid she's just for show. She'd be crushed like fine, sexy china if you got on top of her, and if she was on top you'd blast her off like the space shuttle when you came.
But just to gaze upon such beauty... It not beeth enough! I need to blow my load into her loins!... Wait, do chicks have loins?
....I can install some for $50.
Hey, guys, what's going....
..............................*Wheeeeeeeze!*
........................................
.............
That is the hottest 13 year-old boy I've ever seen.

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This Page is a copyrighted Rossman Production. Though, of course, NONE of the characters are belong to him. They are all the property of the rich and powerful Japanese Yakuza (known as Nintendo Corporation), and neither the Yakuza nor the big N support this page or probably even want it up. The opinions on this page are not necessarily the Rossman's either (and they sure as hell ain't Nintendo's). He did create all of the graphics from memory and scratch and he is using them in a purely "satire-rific" manner, in order to be funny and make people laugh. So LAUGH, damn you!