Issue #39: ISIS and the TALIBAN DECLARE

Wait a minute... Is the Middle East still there? What the fuck are they fighting over, this ISIS and Taliban? It's the fucking desert! Why don't they fight over California wine country or France?
Because France is full of French people. Ugh.
So what's going on with ISIS and the Taliban? Why are they fighting each other? How do they get money to fund their war? Who is in charge of these organizations? How do they keep their secrecy while still coordinating attacks and battles?
Oh my god... Please shut up. It's only 10:30 and I've only had 3 martinis and I missed getting breakfast at Micky Dees... Ain't no way a martini pairs well with a Big Mac or some chicken gizzard McNuggets, I need me a Egg McMuffin or some brown "hash," if you get my drift.
So people still live in the mudhole that is currently known as the Middle East, and they're fighting over sand? Why don't the good ones just come to America or something and let the bad ones fight over the camels and sands and stuffs?
If I might interject... It's all because of the oil in that region that was not in fact formed by long-dead dinosaurs, which never existed because the Bible says that they Earth is only 6,000 years old.
Mega Man confused. Dinosaurs exist! Mega Man even fought a Dinosaur Man once. Mega Man then ate him and stole his power!
I... I don't think that's how it works, Mega Man...
Doc, trust me, just let this one go. I've seen the Blue Boy play another robot in a game of racquetball, and after he beat the poor schmuck he... Well, he... He started with his robo-testes, then devoured him until--.
Mmmmmmm. Mega Man is getting hungry again.
Why can't we just nuke the whole area and then drill for oil underneath that glass parking lot when it's all nice and toasty? Or am I allowed to even suggest that? Is that one of those "insensitive" things I have to watch out for, Doc?
What? Uh, no. No. Uh, you're good. Feck them all up their arses with a giant dildo-shaped nuke. Sure. Fun for the whole family.
But then whose testes will we eat?
I think the Gay Elf would put himself up for that.
Yum! Somebody's starting to get a robo-hunger-boner!
Oh, sorry, Boy Blue, but my giant barrel-throwing monkey ate his ballshtavas last week. He thought they were some old prunes. He's been having... trouble passing some things lately. I think he's like old for a monkey
EEK eek, Ooooooook!
And that, my dear, is the circle of life!
....... No, I don't think it is
Can somebody please feed Mega Man some testes?
Ummmm, are we going to get back to terrorists and their inevitable take over of overthrown Middle Eastern dictatorships, or are we going to just try and find some male reproductive organs to feed to the robot for whatever reason?
Robot eating balls.
Robots and balls.
Robots and balls.... Only because talking about heretics who believe in another god other than the one true Mushroom God disgust me.
........The Middle East.
Goddamn it, Mega Man... What is your fucking deal?!
Mega-ha-ha-ha! Just kidding! Mega Man wants to talk about Middle Eastern balls! Yum!
Oh, Mega Man! Heeeeeere we go again!
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha........ Ha ha ha ha.

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