Uh, welcome ever-everybody. I'm, uh, Shinji Ikari. Um, this is, uh, my page about, um, Shin Seiki Evangelion..... The TV show and, er, the movies and stuff. Um, I, er hope you enjoy it.
First, I er want to um, give a detailed sorta uh, synopsis of this, my uh show. Eva... Evangelion.
SYNOPSIS: There are these people,
um, and they have these machines that are really Angel-like uh,
things. These people are a part of NERV which is like an organization
for SEELE, uh which is formed to save the world...... no wait!
They want the world to end.... No, come to think of it that'd
be kinda stupid. They do like to kill Angels that don't look
like Angels but they blow stuff up, uh all the time. So that's
Okay, now um, I would uh maybe like to answer some um, maybe some Frequently Asked Questions. Maybe? Okay.
1)Q: Shinji-kun, did Misato really kill Kaji?
A: Uh, sure.
But that makes no sense! She loved him! I know that she wasn't as screwed up as you 'cause she was really cute^_^
Okay, um, she didn't then...... Wait, Kaji-san's dead?!?!
Here's a picture that you'll only find on this page. Don't download it and spread it across the web because I made this picture myself! If I ever find out that somebody else took my picture I'll, I'll, I'll get really pissed! It's mine dammit!
2)Q: Next question, Shinji. Is that really Adam on the cross in Terminal Dogma or is it really Lilith? If it is Lilith, how come the Angels go to her? They're supposed to go to Adam! And I know that Lilith isn't an Angel because my 5 year old sister told me so, and I know that Adam was like an embryo and he was the first man too, so how can he be the big thing in NERV HQ with seven eyes, huh?
A: I, uh, Misato-san told um.... Ritsuko-san said that uh, Adam, er.... No, uh. Asuka! Help me Asuka! I don't understand!
3)Q: What were the final two TV episodes and the End of Evangelion movie about? I didn't get them. Can you explain them to me?
A: They uh, were about...... stuff. I, uh don't like my father. He's uh not too nice. I miss my mother.
4)Q: Why does your father (Ikari Gendo) like Ayanami Rei more than you?
A: Because he's a jerk!
Are you sure it couldn't be because you're a total wuss?
SHUT UP!!!!!! Shut up.... I mustn't run away.... I mustn't run away.....
Hey! He does like her better than me, doesn't he. What an asshole!
5)Q: Are you like gay or something? Why were you like so into Kaworu?
A: I thought that she was cute is all. Um, okay?
He was a guy, dude!
No wonder she seemed so flat!
6)Q: Is mankind the last Angel? Because Misato said something like that and the Dead Sea Scrolls said that Hitler was the second anti-Christ and I didn't even see the whole TV series or the movie but I love Gainax because they made Evanjelly-on and I heard about Nadia and I know that man is an Angel because I want to have an AT Field. That would be cool!
A: Uh, yes? No. Er, I uh..... Asuka! Help me Asuka! Kaworu was a guy and Kaji's dead now too! Help me Asuka!
7)Q: Is Rei a clone of your mother or what?
A: What?! Mother? Mother.... Uh oh, I thought naughty things about Rei... does that mean I'm officially an Alabamian now?
Mother? Why the hell did my family have to be so royally screwed up? Even this f***ing picture is f***ed up! Dammit, dad! What the hell is your *&@#ing problem?!?!
8)Q: If Yui's soul is in the EVA-01, and Asuka's mom is in the EVA-02, then who's soul is in the EVA-00?
What? Mother.... in the EVA-01? Why doesn't anyone ever tell
me anything?!?! I, uh, have to uh- I mustn't run away. I can't
run away. I mustn't run away.
You IDIOT!!!!! How can that be?! She was in the Magi system, not the EVA!
Did you even watch the show?!?! You MEGA BAKA!!!! She only programed her personalities as a mother, scientist, and woman into the Magi system, she didn't put her soul into it!!!!........ er, or something.
Hmmmmm. Is Misato-san my guardian, mother, girlfriend, best friend, commanding officer or what?
9)Q: Okay, uh Shinji-kun, wasn't Adam hiding in Antarctica because his wife Eve found out that he had a first marriage to Lilith and she was po'ed and threatened him with an System Sephiroth because the Angels had to return to him, no, I mean to Lilith because she made them?
A: ............ I'm autistic as hell and even I know what the hell is going on in this show. What the f*** is your problem buddy? I'm a fourteen year old boy who has a crush on three different women (one twice my age, one a clone of my mother, and one a smart ass super-genius who thinks I'm pond scum) but I at least understand the basics of the convoluted (but not insane) Evangelion story line! You- the guy who just asked that question. Yeah you, pal! Get the f*** off of my page right now! What a sunova-. Next question!
10)Q: What makes the Third Impact possible, Mr. Smartypants?
A: I, uh we need, ummmmmm. Asuka! Help me, Asuka!
11)Q: This is getting really dumb, Shinji-kun. You apparently don't know squat about Eva. What's up with that?
A: Hey, I'm not the one asking the dumb ass questions.
Here's my Eva. I bet you never saw a picture of EVA-01 before, huh. That's why my page is so special^_^ I have cool stuff on it.
12)Q: Shinji-kun. Over here. Okay, please tell me if you and Asuka are alive at the end of the movie. Because it looked like you died, but there you were. Why?
A: We uh, we died.
But you were there and you're soul-mates (whatever the hell that means).
Then we're alive. Next!
13)Q: Why are Keel and your father so bad? I don't like them!
A: Uh, I know that uh, father is just a d***h*** because I'm a wuss, and I uh, Keel is like half robot so he has an excuse.
14)Q: How many movies were there?
A: *Sigh*. Too many, but apparently not enough.
15)Q: Why did they change the Eva-00's color from yellow to blue?
A: Um, uh that's because Ayanami doesn't like "yellow". They'd do anything to make her happy, but me? Oh no! I happen to hate, repeat hate purple, but will they ever change my Eva's color? Hell no! Why? Because father says that the public likes purple and they'll buy more toys if it stays purple. Damn I hate purple!
She turns her back to "yellow", and... no, wait, is she just turning her back to me?!?!
16)Q: Evangelion doesn't have anything to do with Judaic or Christian faith or mythology in the least, does it? I mean, I heard from this homeless guy that lives down the street from us in the town dump that there's no religious themes at all in Eva. I'm right, aren't I.
A: I don't know if I'll
even dignify that with a response...... Um, uh maybe I will er,
just to help those stupid enough to believe ole Homeless Bob's
17)Q: Hey Shinji-kun. I've noticed that a bunch of other people out there are stealing your site (word for word and even your cool graphics in some cases) and claiming that it is their own. Why do they do this?
A: Well, to uh, to tell
you the truth, they do it because they um, they believe that
you, the readers, are morons. They er, don't understand that
I've already posted this information, and they think that they
have to repost it because they believe that the people
surfing my page will forget what they see when they leave.
And now to show you my excellent picture collection^_^
See, here's one with a bunch of cute girls on it. I like cute girls@_@
Here's one that I guaranty that you've never seen before. Damn! Isn't my site so friggin' cool!
Here's another cool one!
I like Asuka 'cause she's cute! Never mind the fact that her brain is so f***ed up that it's impossible for her to make any logical decisions ever again for fear of hurting herself either physically or mentally. Damn is she cute@_@
See, I do have friends! I may have had to bribe them to get in the picture with me, but I can be an otaku and still have (the appearance of) friends^_^
Wow! Weren't all those pictures cool? I did such a good job on them I think I'll say so again. I did such a good job on this page! And it's nothing like any of the other 1,970,281,341 Evangelion homepages out there right now. Oops, now it's 1,970,281,356.
Well, I could do a character rundown for you now.... but I'd only say that my father's an asshole, that Asuka's cute and that I'd like to bone Misato-san- so I won't.
Here are some LINKs
There. Now my page is pur-fect!
Now go to the EVA FAQs page for real clarification my friends.
All names, images and events mentioned on this page are copyrights of Gainax Studios Project EVA . NAS.
I do not claim any ownership or rights to these things, so get off my back! I'm only making this cool page to show how much I love Evangelion. I want others to know about it and buy as many tapes of it as they can, so that soon the entire world will know Shin Seiki Evangelion!!!!