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Events 5 - 8

"Bravely Fought"

Events 5 - 8: Bravely Fought Piggies

Characters' names in BOLD are those that appear for the first time. Go to the Characters Page to read more about them.

Event 5 ("The Day the Angel Flies")  

After countless attempts to catch the worthless Captain Marumisu abandoning her post and her duty, Lt. Yamato can't take it anymore and he commits seppuku on the bridge in front of Yurethra herself (who only thought he was acting and then fell asleep.... If I didn't hate a certain albino reject, I'd quote her by saying "BAKA!", but I do so I won't).

Ally jumps in the sack with Drugis, and later gets caught sneaking out of his bedroom by Guy (whom she doesn't even remember). Guy is extremely pissed at this, but instead of taking it out on Drugis (whom he actually thinks is pretty cool), he challenges his arch-rival Baskaca to a Light Bike Race in the Holo-Rec room (This sequence has some of the coolest animation I have ever SEEN! Granted, I know it was computer enhanced, but the angles and speed of the entire race were mindblowing!! You have to see it to believe it!).

Now if only "Moses" showed up it would be complete ;)... That's a reference to South Park people... AND to the original movie.
All they wanna do is a zoomy zoom zoom and a boom boom (Just shake your rump!).

But the outcome of the challenge is never second guessed due to Baskaca's serious (but funny:) physical handicap. He goes down in a ball of flames ^o^ (As does Kenny, but that was even more expected).

While in a rush to meet her sweetie in a hidden compartment somewhere, Yurethra assigns the "Top Secret" Mega Powerful Ultimate Robot Defense Mecha, Buster Brown, to Norika (because she was the only crewmember pilot alive without a mecha). Lovely. Then she leaves the bridge (with Yamato "asleep" in her chair). Two seconds after she disappears down the hallway, the Jovian Assassin Shav makes his goofy entrance. After he almost trips on a floor panel he makes a flip like a ninja and lands on his feet with his gun pointed at Yamato's carcase, which he procedes to blow to smithereens. He then departs in haste after falling backwards on a broken chair yelling "Oro!?!".

Aboard the Jovian Angel's command ship, a warning is being repeated that an intruder might be on board. After a completely unnecessary shot of the H-Girls stretching and rubbing eachother we see that precautions are made to protect Mari-chan (who's working on some sort of add-on to the Kami Killah [Marumisu's Time Dilation Project?!] as well as making a new plaything for herself, Mecha Kingu). The Lovely Pairs are now her body guards.

Inside the OniCon, a party for Kibbles' birthday is just wrapping up. Buddy "hears" Princess Mononononoke tell Kibbles that after everything's done, she'll help and "Sweep" with him to clean everything up. Buddy being almost deaf and stupid misinterprets what is said (i.e. "sleep" okay?!?! He thought she said "sleep" -_-) and runs to tell Kibble's lover Princess Rum. Hilarity ensues.

Baaaaaack on the Angel side of things, the Lovely Pairs are playing Russian Rollette and they inadvertantly blow up Mari-chan's Time Dilation Project (along with what looks to be themselves too!). Mari has spirals spinning in her eyes and is out of it when the Oni infiltrators Batti and Flutey sneak into the room and take a few things (Batti grabs a bunch of Mari's old and abandoned android parts along with some Time Dilation Project parts that weren't blow'd up, while Flutey takes some blood samples off the wall). The two MamonOni then bolt (Man, security on all these ships has gotta be tightened up, ya know?).

Soon the two of them are back in their mini ship cruising a return course to the OniCon when they pass (within a few meters:) Fein returning back to the Jovians!

Once Batti and Flutey make it to Wishi's labs they give her everything that they've stolen. She cackles and puts the android parts on a table next to an unconscious Ifiriri while she puts the blood samples into a weird looking tube (a Protozuma Clone Tank) and starts it up. She's still trying to figure out what keeps going wrong with the clones that she's attempted to make to rebuild the Oni ranks. They keep going mad or they're just dumb as a bunch of bricks. She's not sure if it's because of the donor's age, or the fact that the donor can't be a clone (or decendant of a clone) him/herself. So she got Batti and Flutey to get some fresh Jovian samples.

She then flashes back to one of her first cloning experiment of Verde. It was a total disaster as Verde went insane and tore the ship a new one starting from the inside and working his way out! It was only because of the human captive, Sgt. Slaughter, who broke free at the time and wrassled the failed experiment to death that the OniCon wasn't completely destroyed!

"At ease, DISEASE!!"
He fights for freedom wherever there's trouble!

Soon Wishi stops dreaming as the cloning tank is done. Out comes the Clones of the Lovely Pairs! Nab makes a comment about how "They certainly are!". That cat kills me ^_^!

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Event 6 ("False Pledge")

In the Yamacsico's bridge, Grubby is arguing with Captain Marumisu about discipline and honor in the crew. She's just anxious to get some "Durden action" and isn't listening to a word he has to say. Three's Company style misunderstandings occur throughout the rest of the episode because of this:).

In da Count's room in the Yamacsico's military hospital, Fox, Irene and of course Ms. Blotto are still fighting over his comatose bod. This time they are each trying to sabotage the others' gifts for him (i.e. Blotto's 12 pack of Killian's Red, Irene's combat rifle and Fox's document giving him honorary ranking as a 4 star general). At the end of this scene Ushiko and Umao pop up from under coma guy's sheets and profess their love for eachother.

Meanwhile, the MamonOni now have their hands full! The Cloned Lovely Pairs are quickly making a habit of making things go "BOOM!". Wishi and Zenrei are trying their best to keep up with them, but their trail of destruction is just too wide and too fast! The Oni scientists no longer have the help of the re-animated Ifiriri as she was already permanantly assigned as Princess Rum's Personal Enforcer (due to Flutey's request to a leave of absence [she can get a bit nutty, and Flutey never feels like a nut]). And Flutey (without any employment now) is off meditating or doing something "zen-like" where nobody else can find him.

Under a recently called Cease Fire, a pact called the "Alliance Against the ESDF" was set up between the Jovians and the Oni. Jingy and the Oni Royal Family try and decide what course of action would be the best use of their combined power. While Rum, Ifiriri and Kibbles discuss this dilemma of strategies, they pass by a door marked "Mutant X - Do Not Even THINK of Opening, Bee-yatch" (the Oni are very poetic beings). Seeing as how the camera stays on this door for a good 25 seconds after the three walk by, I guess we're either led to believe that the animators were on a strict budget this week, or this door is very important.

When Rum, Ifiriri and Kibbles pass down the hallway, we see something drop from the ceiling and shoot down the corridor with unbelievable speed! It is Anne Droid, and her mission (we learn from her peppy monologue thoughts) is to assassinate King Emperor Bulbaus, and as many members of his family as possible! Inside the immense City Quarters aboard the OniCon, Anne gets a bit lost and asks directions from Zenrei (who is looking for the LPs Clones). Zenrei (being one of the only characters in the show who has the porch light on and is in fact "home") immediately realizes that an android of such quality must be a Jovian infiltrator (along with the fact that Anne told her outright that she was looking for the Emperor or any Royal Family Member in order to "smear their innards against the wall"). A huge, loud and full-tilt fight ensues between the two and lots of things blow'd up.

Ride the wind!  Never goin' back again until I touch the midnight sun!
*Bang!* *Bang!* "And she's off! *Bang!* Wait, the girl with the marker gun is now firing on entrant number 4! Oh the humanity!"

Wishi finally catches up to and corners the Cloned LPs and their cat (who are actually all tuckered out from their long day of inadvertant destruction:), but before she can contain them, the wall behind her comes smashing down and the original Lovely Pairs come a knockin'!

"Hey Crab-girl!  Raise those little hands and freeze!  And NO 'switch-a-roos' with any lifesize dollies, get it!"
I don't know where that tank came from, but I'm disappointed that they never made a toy out of it :(. I mean, how the hell am I ever going to reenact this scene at home now with just my Wishi and my gelatin-filled LPs action figures without a "Panzer Kunst Big Ass Tank"?!

Somehow the Cloned Lovely Pairs start to get unstable and when they come into contact with their protoplasts the room goes super nova! After the smoke clears, Wishi digs herself out of the rubble (with the help of her assistant Zenrei who chased Anne away) and decides that maybe it's time that she grew up and had a baby again (but "only if it's with the only man she's ever loved")..... Oooooookay.

Needless to say, the Jovian-Oni Alliance was broken off and both sides started their aggressions towards eachother again.

Back in the Yamacsico, Dr. Freshnesu is watching a replay of the events that just took place with the Cloned Lovely Pairs (she states that she had a secret camera planted in their ship a long time ago). She is happy that the Oni have not figured out the reason for their cloning failures yet and hopes that they never will. Seems that in order for clones to stay stable (and not go mental or 'splodin') the copy must be made at or near the original clony's birth. With the aged DNA and the artificial maturing of the Oni clones, they all turn out "all in all not too sharp". Dr. Freshnesu then goes back to work on the Big MF Bomb and hopes that Dr. Marumisu will not share this secret with the Jovian Angels. Fade to Black.

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Event 7 ("Dangerous Wounds")

Now it's the ESDF's turn to ally themselves with those nutty Jovians :). A Peace Pact was signed between MASTER and Grand Admiral Luscious Fox to stop any offensive manuevers against eachother. But MASTER has something hidden up his coffee stained sleeves.

Meanwhile, inside the MamonOni command ship, Jingy orders Wishi to unlease Aiyiyi into the Yamacsico's main sentient computer COSMOS, and plant a deadly ILOVEYOU Virus into his mainframe! Then when Aiyiyi signals that the system is down, they'll mount a full scale offensive against the human menace to wipe them out... all of them.

A second Battle of the Bands is being put together to once again finally decide which band is the greatest of all time! FIRESTARTER goes first and blows the speakers out ^_^. Both Tish and the Kopy Kats and Mismay are pretty peeved, but Baskaca and the rest don't give a care and flick off the other contestants when they leave.

Out in the hallway next to the the bridge, NomE and Cap'n Grubby meet and share one full minute of hateful stares and silence!

Inside the Yamacsico's Heavy Network System, COSMOS is sleeping (after recently helping Fukuku and Brian save the ship in yet another narrow escape from destruction) when all of a sudden Aiyiyi pops up in front of him in cyber-space (a really cool effect that must have taken at least 2 months to computer render!!). They start talking (Aiyiyi trying her best to sweet talk the high pitched little program into opening up his Group Drive for her to plant the virus) and talking and talking... Mostly about the Oni Program trying to "fix COSMO's mouse" and other dirty computer language at first, but soon Aiyiyi starts to wonder why things are like they are and if fighting ever really solves anything (a very deep and thought provoking piece of work, I'll tell you what).

Back at the Bands Contest, the speakers are replaced and Tish takes the spotlight. Outside an Angel Carrier helmed by Captain Vegas is on a collision course with the Yamacsico (MASTER ordered his most expendable captain to do a suicide run on the ESDF!). Due to COSMOS' preoccupation though, it goes unnoticed. Aiyiyi begins to think that what she was sent to do is wrong and she realizes that she's fallen in love with the ESDF Program (we know this because floating hearts appear in cyber space all around her). COSMOS is confused and tired, but then a huge shake to the ship occurs and snaps him out of his daze! It turns out that Tyler has never seen the Northern Lights on Earth, so Captain Marumisu changed the Yamacsico's destination so that he could see them from space from the bridge -_- (A brief shot of Zero and Lei-Lei has them making an annoying comment about the situation).

When COSMOS comes to his senses, his radar readings show that they just missed a huge Jovian vessel because of the manuever! When he turns to confront Aiyiyi about it she's already gone. Vegas, enraged that his kamikaze attack didn't work, orders a full deployment of all Jovian mecha in the vicinity to attack the ESDF ship!

I bet that if Kiki really was in a mecha battle like this she would kick royal hiney ^_~ !!
Why nobody ever goes straight for the main bridge when they're so damn close is beyond me. I mean, that would basically cripple the ship and win the fight, neh? Also, why build the bridge to stick out like that in the first place? That's just lazy mecha architecture if you ask me.

The Battle of the Bands Part II is interupted, just as Mismay was about to sing her first note, by the real conflict outside in cold dark space. The ESDF's coolest Self Piloting Mecha of all time, Azzkicker Prime, rallies the troops and orders them to "Roll out!" After tons of really cool zero-G dogfights and lots of awesome 'splosions the Yamacsico is saved from an early grave and COSMOS is left to ponder what that loony Aiyiyi is/was truly up to.

The ESDF and Angel treaty is broken faster than the Angel and Oni one and no side is happy with the outcome. Especially Jingy who is extremely vexed with Aiyiyi (who turns out to have ingested the ILOVEYOU virus herself to save COSMOS [but did she really love him before she took the bug, or because of it? Hmmmmm ^_~]. She still has those weird floating hearts and big "star filled" eyes at the end of the episode to make sure that everyone understands that she still loves the guy.... We get the point).

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Event 8 ("Sphere of Absolute Fortune")

Right off the bat we're thrown into another space battle. Things are already pretty hairy for the ESDFers (Norika [in the Buster Brown] is soon in tears and crumpled up in a pile of herself while Siggy laughs at her and tells her that the next time she goes into space she'll die! *_*) as the Jovians push yet another unprovoked offensive. While in the heat of the battle, the punkish Bratt tries to kill his clone Drugis first by accident, then without even trying to hide it.

The Yamacsico is not faring too well as it has been compromised and some Jovian Faceless Minions have snuck aboard with a buttload of explosives. They break into the medical bay where Drs. Kitchikoo, Tabitha and (for a price) GoFish are operating on hurt pilots. They are about to open fire when Caca kills them all with her bare hands when everybody is cowering in fear (This was sooooo cool to see! Most of it was in slow motion and choreographed just like a John Woo flick!!). Then she washes her hands of the blood and asks Kitchikoo for a lolly :).

Soon the battle is over and the Yamacsico crew can breath a little easier. Grand Admiral Fox decides that one more Peace Treaty may be in order and sets up negotiations with the Oni. Both Rum and Jingy agree that this would be a good idea and the pact is signed. (During this time Kibbles thinks that his love, Princess Rum, is getting gifts from a secret admirer, but near the end of the episode it is discovered that she's just getting the innards of tortured prisoners for snack food)

"Sheeeee's electric.  She's from a family full of eccentrics.  She's done  things I've never expected.  And I need more time.
Ooooooh! Princess Rum and Ifiriri! If there was ever a "Ms. Yamacsico" pageant, I wonder who'd win.

After a while things are still quiet in the OniCon bridge and Jingy starts to mope around thinking of his lost love (there are hints as to who it is, but I don't want to ruin the big surprise when we find out later;). His thoughts are broken though when Emperor Bulbaus stumbles into the command center drunker, fatter and overall more annoying than Megazone on a bad day (well, I guess that's any day ^_^). Jingy's upset, but he seems to know how to handle the situation. He tells his master that there's a hidden nudie magazine somewhere in the hangar bay 30 stories down. Bulbaus leaves and soon Jingy leaves too to think of days gone by in his own quarters. A few seconds later however, Bulbaus returns to ask where the magazines were again. Finding his Supreme Onilord gone, Bulbaus takes it upon himself to order the fleet around -_-. First matter of business is to fire upon the ESDF Human Fleet (even though his soldiers try to tell him about the treaty)!

Since no heavy ammunition is ready at the moment, Zeldadis offers himself as a torpedo and is fired at the ESDF ship the Minimac. It goes *boom*. Then Mr. Piggy makes the Bigmac an even BIGGER *boom*!

In all the commotion, Jingy tries to assess the damage and stop the attack, but Bulbaus is just too big of a Schlong when he's sloshed and nobody can stop his orders (Ushiko and Umao pop up in the Oni garbage chute and remove fruit and vegetable peelings and other refuse from eachother as they verbalize their love).

In the chaos in space, Izuzu by mistakenly blows up the Oni mecha Lion-Go and the zany hilarity of the horrors of war begin yet again @_@. What ya gonna do, eh?

After the fleets have distanced themselves, Kenny Murasema finds himself in bed with Ally, but as soon as the *um -HMMMM!* lovin' begins, poor ol' Kenny blows up upon diseased contact with her and Ally is left very red in the face..... and the hands.... and the walls..... I just hope that the other horny guys on board learned from Murasema's mistake -_-, or the Yamacsico could become a very sick place to live.

*Cough!* SLUT *Cough!*
Here's blood in your eye!

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