Page 8

Wouldn't you know it, just minutes after meeting Jareth the Goblin King and letting him rub all against me, we came upon Sarah and her balls of dreams. The Chief is showing her how big HIS balls of dreams are, and the Doctor is just.... Honestly, I have no fucking clue what the Doctor is doing in this one.

 

Cupcake was so unbelievably excited that she ran across James Doohan (aka Star Trek's "Scotty") at the D.C.... I didn't have the heart to tell her that the real Scotty died like 20 years ago due to a much needed cardiac arrest (seriously, that heart needed a vacation BAD after spending 60 years pumping it through the human equivalent of Mt. Everest!).

 

And here's Cupcake and.... Wait is that a regular Loki or a Rule 63 Loki? Whatever, Cupcake is about to kick his/his-her ass anyway.

 

Fire Lord Ozai and Azula are most assuredly NOT impressed with my recently-learned beer-bending abilities, nor are they pleased to see the Chief's jizz-bending skillz. Though Ozai's papier-mache fireball bending is super impressive! The Chief told me later that he could feel more jizz inside Azula than in Ozai. Then I puked on his shoes.

 

Here's the Doctor, the Chief and PSY doing the Gangnam Style dance... Don't look at me like that! This was actually just a week and a half after the video was released, and waaaaaay before it got over-abused online! We led the way, dammit! Oh! And there's Velma!

 

Then we all ran into Terry McGinnis, or whatever... The Batman BEYOND! The Doctor had to show him that he was not impressed with the little man's wingspan. The Chief is just always happy to be able to grab superhero tush.

 

I don't know who these ladies are, but it looked like they were cage dancers who brought some portable cages with them. The Chief didn't know who there were, and didn't care, he still taught them Gangnam Style.

 

Casey Jones was upset that the Doctor, of all people, didn't understand Cricket. That was a paddlin'.

 

After a few shitty local brews, the gang decided that they needed a few more draughts of PBR and Yuengling before last call at the Mai Hime bar that Cupcake spotted earlier. Not that it was Cupcake's decision to get the Doctor and the Chief even more blotto than they already were. She made me write that.

 

After a couple of tall ones we all went back to the main con building where we ran into the Rule 63 Avengers en masse! 63 Iron Man/Lady was my fave, but the Chief said that "That was the hottest Black Widow ever. Eeeeeevaaaaaaaaaaaaar!"

Just one question... Who's that with the pink hair and the stockings behind us, and why didn't I get a picture with her?!

 

Mission accomplished: We found Sombrero Man. Arriba!

 

"Wait a second... I think there may be something jammed in here... Wait... Okay, THERE!"

"What the fuck, Doctor?! You are most definitely NOT my only hope."

 

Little Red Riding Hood was off to Granny's house with a basket of... Candy? Don't mind if I do do! The Chief double fisted the basket and got some Starbursts and Skittles... Giving him a sugar drunk rush that caused one death, 18 physical injuries, and a hernia from trying to toss a dwarf dressed up as Tyrion Lannister. No, I was not around to get pictures of that last one, unfortunately...

 

The Doctor found another doctor in the crowds! Dr. McNinja was slicing and dicing his enemies up like -- Whoa! That chick has a pretty nice ass! That's right, the Dr. was dragging her around with him as a testament to his mad plastic surgery skills, and his ability to perform "ass lifts" the likes of which the world had never seen before! (The Chief was totally impressed!)

I set up an appointment for myself in October.

 

The Doctor then came upon what he thought was a cosplayer of Captain Morgan.... That's when Cupcake tried to cut off his rum supply for the night.

 

And then it happened. The MegaPlayboy made a play for the Doctor's fez! All hell broke loose upon the Fields of Trenzalor that day!

 

The night was starting to wind down, according to the MegaPlayboy and Cupcake, but not according to the fez-less Doctor and the Chief! Thus they ran away from the party poopers and straight into Dragoncon Dance Dance Disco Inferno! The night was just starting, and it was gonna be a looooooooooong one!

 

All aboard the AWESOME train! Now with Skittles! It's amazing, you can still taste the Skittles rainbow even through the alcohol.